The Spider Came Back...The Very Next Day...

Can I stress again how much I hate spiders? Not only just hate but have a pure, irrational fear of them. I get so scared of these little things that I cannot even bring myself close enough to kill them. I back away, shaking in fear, and call in the Master Spider Killer (a.k.a. Keith).

I believe one of the first questions I asked Keith before we started dating was whether he would kill spiders for me AND remove the bodies. It's a qualifying question really. Keith almost failed that question. He likes to think of spiders as our "friends". I don't care if he thinks they are friendly, as long as he killls them for me.

My day started out eventful (for me). My Windex-coated spider from Wednesday evening decided to make an appearance in my shower this morning. As I stumbled into the shower (as I usually do, since I am more than half asleep), I ended up facing this dangling creepy critter. He was doing that creepy, gross, dangling thing less than 2 inches away from my face.

ACK!

So, as I nearly fall getting out of the shower as fast as I can, I do the "spider call", in hopes that the Master Spider Killer will come save me from my impending death by this 8-legged creature. Alas, Keith was comatose on the couch, tired from a night of Xbox'ing and dreaming of his package from Future Shop that he was picking up today, that he did not wake to my cries of panic.

Mental note: Must get airhorn.

Since Keith was not coming to my aid, I chose to try to drown the nasty thing. I lifted the spray as high as it would go, but the dang spider started crawling higher.

I called out again in hopes that he just thought it was a false alarm. No movement. Keith might actually be in a coma. But I cannot worry about that right now, there is a spider in my midst.

I turn back to the shower and the spider is gone. I cannot see him at all. I look up, down, everywhere. This spider can disappear faster than Houdini. This is twice in two days that this thing has escaped his impending death.

The spider must die.

So, I reach in to turn off the shower. There is no way in this lifetime I am showering with the dangly thing threatening to land on my head. I will sacrifice my hygeine for my sanity for the day.

Honestly, I am sane.