Time just flies...

when you are a Mom. Holy CRAP. I can't believe its been so long since I updated this blog. I will pay more attention to it now. I promise.

So much has happened.

1. As you can see from the pic, my baby girl is doing great. She's 4 months old today, and life just keeps getting better. I have never been so happy in my life as I have in the 4 short months that I have been her Mom.

2. She was diagnosed with Hip Dysplasia shortly before her second month 'birthday'. She wore a Pavlik Harness (an evil contraption that I hated more than she did) for 8 weeks. I am happy to say, her hips are normal and we are weaning her from it now. She had the three main risk factors for it, she was 1. a girl (obviously), 2. breech, and 3. first-born.

3. She sleeps through the night. This is the friggen life, I tell you. She goes to bed at 7 pm and sleeps till 7-8 am. Straight through. She's been doing it for the past month. The three month mark was such a big turning point for us with her sleep. Even then I couldn't complain too bitterly. She was sleeping from 7 pm till 4am. She would wake for a quick bottle and go back to sleep till 8 am. It's hard to remember the days when she would only sleep for 45 minutes at a time.

4. She laughs. Oh, how she laughs. It's the funniest damn thing in the world, and makes me crack up all the time. Sometimes she laughs at this silly lil duck she has, but usually she laughs whenever you swing her. Doesn't matter what direction, or the amount of movement...you move her around, and she will giggle. It's priceless.

5. Her reflux is much better. She still spews with the best of them, but at least its not the acid reflux anymore.

6. She's still fairly foliclly challanged. LOL Sometimes the hair she has looks blonde, sometimes brown, sometimes red...usually a mixture of the three. She's got a case of the baby pattern baldness going on, with the big bald spot on the back of her head. I hope it goes away by the time she enters college.

7. Oh, and I still haven't learned any baby songs. She's gonna get really sick of "You are my sunshine".

8. Finally, she beautiful. And there's not a moment I am looking at her that I am forgetful of just how lucky I am.

There's so much more, but it is late, and my brain is failing me.

My lil fuzzy Melonhead....

Okay, that's not my nickname for her, it's her fathers nickname for her. But it cracks me up when he says it in the "happy baby voice". Ahh, I can imagine the therapy bills now!

I realized today that I haven't updated my blog in awhile...Bad bad Mom.

Emmy is 8 weeks old today. This week (on the 20th) marks her official 2 month old birthday. It's amazing how fast time has gone, especially since I am awake for so much more of it! LOL

Emmy smiles a lot now (oh how I love that!), and she can hold her head up on her own quite well. But you must be very, very careful, since my daughter is a spaz, she will headbutt you and lean backwards so quickly that you will almost drop her if you don't pay attention! (Notice I said ALMOST drop her, I haven't dropped her, but I have so many many fears of doing it.) I did drop a baby bottle on her yesterday by accident. Luckily, it was empty and she was completely unfazed. I, however, was ready to call the authorities to turn myself in for child abuse.

She also has become quite adapt at grabbing my hair when she wants to, and/or shirt, Keith's chest hair, pretty much anything within her reach. She doesn't really reach for toys yet, she seems to enjoy causing us pain! LOL

Her weight continues to climb which is great! She weighed 9 lbs at the pediatrician office on Thursday. This put her up an entire weight percentile and turned out she gained 1 lb 3 ozs in a week!


Overall, she's a happy little baby who is as cute as can be. She has a few problems that I have mentioned before in my blog, but I will update them now.

Reflux: Her acid reflux sucks. I can't put a positive spin on it no matter how hard I try. If there is anything that is causing all of us extraordinary stress these past few weeks, it is this. She will eat (we burp her after every ounce of formula), she may spit up a bit after eating, which I consider very normal. I keep her upright for 30 minutes after the feed, where she will sleep with her head on my shoulder. She is then placed in her swing to keep her upright while she sleeps.

About an hour or two after the feed the fun begins. She will start to whimper in her sleep. Then, the whimpering will get louder, and she will begin to rub her face. All of a sudden, she will howl, and the cute lil child looks like an extra on the Exorcist set. It's crazy! Spew will come out her nose and mouth, she will be upset, and my heart breaks because there is nothing that I can do at the moment to take her pain away.

We have tried to switch formulas (this has been a problem since birth). We have tried thickening the formula. We tried dosing her with a small amount of Maalox after her feeds. This did cut down on the pain, but it also caused a HUGE case of diarrhea. She just started Zantac, however, at the moment it makes her puke more LOL. I also changed her formula one more time to the uber-expensive, guaranteed-no-allergies formula. It's worth a shot. The Pediatrician said it couldn't hurt, except the pocketbook! LOL

Her hips: She had an ultrasound on April 5th. Last week, we were called into the Ped's office for the exact reason I thought it was for. Her hips are bad. We have an appointment with the Pediatric Orthopedic Surgeon on Wednesday. I am assuming they are going to want to put her in the Pavlik Harness to try to correct them. We will see.

Other than that, I am tentatively going to say that Emmy slept through the night for the very first time last night. Tentatively because I don't know that it will be an ongoing thing, but she did sleep for 7 hours straight. She fell asleep around 1:30 am early this morning, and when I got up at 8:00, she was still asleep. This has been the absolutely LONGEST she has EVER slept. I had to make sure she was still breathing when I awoke!

So, here's my tentative HAPPY DANCE! No true celebrations until she happens to do it again (tonight Em, sleep through the night again tonight! LOL).

How I know I am a Mom...Part III

So, I can't say that during my pregnancy I studied children's songs to prepare myself for singing to my child. So, I make crap up. It works, and she's too young to notice that I am changing words, or that I am the worst singer in the world.

(Childhood memories abound at my Father singing Little Drummer Boy, and when the par-rum-pa-pa-pum part comes in, he always sang, "Come rub a my bum".)

Mental note: Learn some friggen songs before she turns 1. And don't change words of songs to make them have a sexual meaning! LOL

So, as she was on my lap the other day, I am singing away to her. Since I am the person she sees the most, she's usually pretty happy no matter what I am doing with her (except giving her a bath or changing her diaper!).

As I sang, "I love you, you love me, that's cause I'm the Mom-my", my darling child decided on the last syllable to throw up on me. I won't even call it spit-up because there was so much of it. It was pooling in my bra.

Maybe 5 weeks 6 days is not too early to realize I am a bad singer? LOL

And that is reason # 5129742 that I now know I am a Mom.

How I Know I Am a Mom...Part II

Every Saturday night, Keith takes over Emmy duty for 2 of the 3 nighttime feedings. This allows me to go upstairs and sleep for an uninterrupted 7-8 hours of sleep. It's fabulous! He has Sunday's off, so he sleeps on and off during the night between feedings, and then I get up at 6 am, and take care of the feedings so he can sleep uninterrupted until about noon. It's the only day we both get enough sleep to feel rested! :-)

Now, prior to Emmy's arrival...did I ever think of how much uninterrupted sleep I got? Not really, unless it had been interrupted in some way (like in late pregnancy). I slept until either my alarm went off for work, or I woke up on my own.

Ahhh...back in the days...

Also, my weekends before Emmy were spent much differently. Usually, I would do nothing. And by nothing, I mean nothing that can be claimed as being efficient with my time. My routine (before pregnancy) was to shower, come downstairs, get a glass of Coke (my caffeine addiction), smoke some cigarettes, and check my email. That could easily fill 2 hours of my time. Eventually, I would go get some breakfast, get dressed, maybe throw a load of laundry in the washer, but usually, I would spend my Saturdays & Sundays being lazy.

Now, here we are, it is Sunday. This has been what I have done so far (and its 8:44 AM as I write this) After my alarm went off at 6 am, I...

• Went pee, brushed my teeth, but waited on the showering (because Emmy usually wakes up between 6-6:30 am for a feeding).
• Poured a glass of juice that I am finally enjoying now.
• Emmy started fussing, so I made the supplemental formula bottle, and breastfed her/formula fed her for an hour. Changed her diaper and her onesie. Put her back to sleep.
• Emptied the dishwasher.
• Handwashed the bottles that had accumulated last night and this morning.
• Folded the laundry that I started last night, put in another load. (3 loads washed, dried, folded and put away so far)
• Boiled water for formula.
• Found the laundry that Keith was hiding around the house.
• Picked up Keith's garbage since he's incapable at times of realizing we have a garbage can.
• Swept and mopped the kitchen floor.

Okay, so now I am eating some breakfast, waiting for the next load to be ready to be folded, and for Emmy's 9 am feeding. Crazy what my day entails nowadays! I wouldn't trade it, but I wonder how ANYTHING got done before. Some days I get frustrated because I can't get everything done that I wanted to, yet, even if I unload the dishwasher, that's still more than I used to do! LOL

On another note, I finally got invited to my own baby shower. I was wondering if someone was going to remember to invite me or not. It's today at 2 pm, so I figured someone would have to let me know! LMAO

It's been the worst kept secret ever. My friends don't really communicate with one another, so I didn't think I would actually have one. I found out from my coworker that it was planned for this Sunday (she wasn't going to tell me, but figured I knew about it anyhow).

At least I have time to get pretty! I was worried they wouldn't give me enough time to do anything, and all my pics would be me looking stunned and with bad hair. Now, I will at least be able to do something about the hair and makeup! (I always look stunned anyhow! LOL)

Rollin' Rollin' Rollin'

Emmy rolled over by herself on her 1 month birthday on Monday. She then got stuck on her belly and hollered! LOL

This picture cracks me up! My lil stunned bean! LOL

She's had a cranky day today, and I am tired...so there probably won't be anything remotely readable in here today. The nice thing is, she is being cranky to Keith too, so he doesn't think I make this stuff up! LOL

Speaking of her father...I am pissed off at him. Well, not as much as I was yesterday! I ended up having to work yesterday, as my office was really far behind. It was his day off, so he watched Emmy all day. I ended up working for 10 1/2 hours, was bone tired when I got home, and he wanted dinner! Yet, when I am the "stay at home" Mom, it's my job to cook. But even when I am the "working" Mom, it is still my job!

On top of that, he didn't wash any bottles - so there was a shortage of bottles when I got home. Did he put any of his dishes that he used during the day in the dishwasher? Nope. Did he put the dirty diapers in the garbage? NOPE! He left them in the changing area!!!

So, I came home to a house with dirty diapers on the floor, dirty dishes stacked up right beside the EMPTY dishwasher, and dirty bottles littering my counters. I could have MURDERED him when he had the gall to ask for dinner.

But, I restrained myself from causing him bodily harm. I simply picked up the phone and ordered pizza. LOL

MEN!!!

Something's Wrong - I'm Bored.

Emmy is sleeping soundly in the best $200 investment I ever made (the Fisher Price swing). Keith is sleeping on the Lazy-Boy chair. The dishes are washing, the laundry is done, and I watched Grey's Anatomy already. There is water for formula that is cooling, and the bottles are washed. I even had a 4 hour nap this afternoon so I am not tired at all.

It's official. I'm bored.

Is it bad to wish Emmy would wake up so I would have something to do?

I wonder how pissed off Keith would be if I woke him up because I am lonely? LOL

In other news...I think I finally realized I am a Mom today...

How I know I am a Mom:
1. My thoughts are consumed by my daughter. What she is eating, how much is she eating, is she wetting herself enough? Is she pooping enough? I actually asked Keith if he had a poopy diaper on his turn at diaper changes just because I hadn't had one (which reminds me, I have to change a really bad gross diaper here or at least pretend its really gross...he's had two bad diapers, and I have just gotten the wet ones LOL).

2. My conversations with my not-with-kid friends still revolve around Emmy. I have to stop this and remember what we used to talk about before I got pregnant! Otherwise, I can see my friendships heading south.

3. My shirts have white marks on the shoulders from burping Emmy.

4. Planning my day no longer entails what time I am leaving for work, and whether I have time to stop at Timmy's for an ice capp on the way. Now, I plan my day around when Emmy is awake, and it involves all the things I suck at. Washing dishes, bottles, making formula, laundry, the housewife stuff (okay, okay, and some Judge Judy at 3 pm - it's my guilty pleasure LOL). I have never had time go by so fast, nor feel like I can't get anything accomplished as I have lately. Some days I have all these great plans on things I will get done today, and the next thing I know, Keith is walking in the door, home from work. I do suck at being a housewife...but I am giving it an honest effort.

5. I have never felt like I have worked so hard without getting paid for it. Being a Mom is tough work, and she can't even talk back to me yet. The first month has been the month of the "adjusting", and I think we are finally getting the hang of it (without too many mistakes I hope!)

6. I have now written about "poopy diapers" in my blog. Add that to the reflux throwing up I posted a little while ago, and I think that qualifies me as a Mom now. Next up, the exciting article on the colour of Emmy's poop. I know you can't wait. LOL

7. Keith and I, well, we pretty much just revolve around Emmy. I know its bad, we need to focus on him and I occasionally. I was hoping to do that tonight (hee hee), however, he is snoring on the LazyBoy! LOL

I am sure I will think of some more...but I will need things for my next posting! LOL

Ut Oh! The Swing Broke!

The night before last, Emmy slept in her swing all night (besides the time for feedings). It worked great, and she sleeps sooooooo good in it, that it has become my Mommy crutch.

Our swing was an older Fisher Price Port-a-Swing that we inherited, but in good shape.

Yesterday, I noticed when I put Emmy in it that it seemed to be running quite fast. (It's always kept on the lowest speed). I took her out of it since my poor Bobblehead baby couldn't be in it while it was moving so fast. Keith looked at it when he got home, but he had no idea why it would be running so fast on the slowest speed (it seemed like it was stuck on the highest speed).

So, last night was a long night without my "crutch" of the swing. Emmy has a new thing about not sleeping in her bassinette (she will just start crying, no matter how asleep she was when you put her in there), so we spent the night alternating her between us. She will sleep like a log if she is on one of us, but it makes sleeping interesting for us! LOL

By 10 am this morning, I called Keith...I need a swing. I cannot do this without one. We can't afford it right now because my E.I. hasn't kicked in yet, but Mastercard will just get the minimum monthly payment until it does! LOL I couldn't sleep, wash bottles, or make formula with this sleeping baby on me (who would scream if I put her in the bassinette). And I don't have a sling yet...its coming. LOL

So, happily, I have a new swing. I bought a Fisher Price Aquarium Cradle Swing. It rocks. Emmy has been asleep in it for 3 hours. I LOVE this swing.

Pediatrician Appointment

My lil bean is sprouting away here. She weighed 6 lbs 13 ozs yesterday! Soon, she may actually fit all those clothes she has been given! :-)

There was some not-so good news given to me by the Pediatrician yesterday.

1. Her spitting up is reflux. Not too bad if we keep her upright after feedings. If we don't, you best take cover, because the spew will fly! She got me really well this morning after I fed her. I lifted her upright to burp her and she puked all down my tank top. Nummy. Good thing I hadn't showered yet. LOL If it gets worse, we will medicate her (if she were to stop gaining weight for example) but right now its just a wait and see approach.

2. Her hips are clicking. She was a breech baby, firstborn and a girl, which are the three common markers in baby's born with hip dysplasia. We have an ultrasound booked in early April to determine whether she has it or not. If she does, it may require her wearing a brace-like device for a few months, or worst, surgery. This makes me incredibly sad...I don't want to see my daughter bound up, or having to face surgery! :-( But I know, whatever it takes to get it fixed.

3. She has a slight heart murmur. I am hoping she will simply outgrow this and its not something serious, but it has me worried. No mom wants to hear that there could be something wrong with their child! The Pediatrician will recheck her heart in 4 weeks.

She still has good nights and bad nights when it comes to sleeping. Good nights, she sleeps in 3 hour sessions, feeds, and then goes back to sleep. Bad nights, it's every hour, or she doesn't sleep at all. She is a sweet baby, and I am totally in love with her. Although, I think I might love her just a teensy bit more when she stops screaming at diaper changes and sleeps through the night! LMAO

Can't sleep...

It's funny. I have been complaining about how utterly exhausted I have been the last while, and now, when I have some time to sleep, I can't.

Emmy is sleeping soundly in her swing (what a wonderful invention!), Keith is asleep on the Lazyboy chair, and I should be snoring on the couch. But instead, I sit here, typing babble.

I am thinking of ditching breastfeeding alltogether now. It gives me great amounts of guilt to consider it, however, it is causing a lot of stress in the daily life. My milk has never fully come in, meaning that there is lots of pumping involved trying to stimulate my milk production. Even if I pump before a feeding, I only am able to pump less than 1/2 an ounce. Good thing Emmy is being supplemented with formula, otherwise she would starve on that! LOL

On top of that, I find that I am still very uncomfortable breastfeeding. It just doesn't seem to be natural to me. Which is quite funny, since it is one of the most natural things in the world. Emmy has a great latch, even though she has had bottles as well. It is still as awkward and foreign to me as the first day I did it. I don't know. I just don't feel comfortable when I do it. However, I will keep at it and hope it gets better.

Emmy is gaining weight well, she weighed 6 lbs 4.5 ozs on Tuesday's Doctor's appointment. My liver has not rebounded from pregnancy yet, and I now have the old alcoholic man's disease of Gout. My doctor assures me it will go away once my liver is better. We will see.

Have I mentioned how cute my daughter is recently? She is so much more alert now, looking at you rather than through you. While on her activity mat the other day, she hit her rattle and she followed the noise it made. All great developments!

On a sad note this past week, I seem to have lost one of my best friends. Obviously, I won't air all the dirty laundry for the world to see, but due to circumstances out of our control, we can no longer talk. This saddens me as I miss him terribly. For the past four years, we have never gone more than a week without an email (and usually conversation occured daily) and now, there is no communication. It is so hard, as there is so much I want to tell him. I find myself typing emails only to discard them, as I know I can't send them. Life goes on, I guess. I just pray that we will be able to resume contact soon. I hate the feeling that I need to grieve the loss of this friendship, as I don't want to let this relationship go.

Happy Two Week Birthday, Emmy!

My baby is two weeks old today!

I can't believe how fast the last week has gone. I just want to freeze-frame her so she doesn't change too fast! (Well, I could handle if she stayed this small AND learned to sleep through the night!)

Keith has been amazing. He has never been around babies before, and he is an absolute pro! Twice now, he has let me sleep through the whole night, yet he hasn't been able to yet. I don't know what I would do without him!

There are so many things that make me melt when I look at her...

When she falls asleep feeding...she fights it for a few moments, and then just gives in to slumber. There is NOTHING more beautiful in this world than a sleeping newborn in your arms.

Her little fingers and little toes...

Her little pointed ears (they are getting less Spock-like by the day).

Her facial expressions that change constantly. She has this new one that looks like she is saying "Who" with her lips pursed. It's so cute!

Whenever Keith sings to her, kisses her, and holds her. It's so beautiful watching him with his daughter. I gotta get him a better song selection though, he was singing the "Spiderman" theme song to her the other day. LOL


Things that make me giggle...

When she bonks her hand on the bassinette and cries for a brief moment. You hear this "Thunk" and then she cries for a brief moment. I really have to pad the sides of the bassinette! She does this 3-4 times a day! LOL

When she is rooting and looking for food, no matter who's holding her at the time. It's especially funny when she's trying to find Keith's breast! LOL She's a wild kid when she's hungry! She will headbutt you - so you have to watch out! I have been nailed a few times now.



Our lives have changed so much in the last two weeks. I wouldn't change a moment of it. The amnesia they say occurs about the pains of pregnancy, and childbirth is true. I know I had a rough time at the end of my pregnancy, and I absolutely had a horrible C-Section, but I would do it all over again. It almost saddens me to think that I won't be having another child.

She's only two weeks old and I want to do it all over again. Scary!

Have to run, she just bonked her hand on the bassinette! LOL

I feel like the luckiest woman in the world...

Since Emmy has come home, life has been completely altered from my previous existence. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

I had some breastmilk issues, and Emmy had some weight gaining issues, so we began to supplement with formula. Good news, Emmy is back up to her birth weight, and sleeps for 2 hour stretches at a time! Wooohooo!

The lack of sleep that everyone warns you about is about 100 times worse than they say. But, when you look into your child's eyes as they are feeding, no matter how sleepy you are, it is absolutely, utterly worth every moment.

I love spending my days with her. I have only been out once without her since bringing her home, and I missed her the entire time I was gone. (And I bought a bunch of stuff for her! LOL) The other night, she was happily laying underneath her activity mat, and I had to pick her up for some "Emmy snuggles".

She makes me laugh with her "grunts", her whines that sound like a car with a bad fan belt, her funny facial expressions and when she smacks her hand against the side of the bassinette and it makes her cry momentarily. I know its bad to laugh at that, but she keeps doing it!! I think I need to pad the sides of it!

I never thought I could love something so much, so entirely, so consumingly. She is part of me. I don't know how I deserved to be blessed this much, but I thank God for giving me this miracle.

Day Four - Going Home

This is my favorite picture of Emmy from the hospital. Oh, it makes me giggle. She's too damn cute. And could the sleeper be any bigger on her? LOL

On Day Four, I pretty much demanded to go home from the hospital. I waited for Emmy's Pediatrician to release her, and for my Doctor's to release me. I was DONE with being at the hospital. I couldn't sleep well because there was construction going on during the day in the ward, plus the nurses who kept coming in to painfully poke my belly. Emmy didn't sleep very well at night, needing feedings every hour. So, basically, I never slept, which didn't help my emotions.

We were released and our new little family made our way home. As soon as I was home, I felt so much better. To be able to nap, to have Keith's help with Emmy, it was such a good feeling.

Emmy was still demanding once an hour feedings throughout the night, which made it very difficult sleep-wise since I had the breasts LOL. However, with Keith's help on these days, when she did sleep longer, I was able to nap.

Day Two with my Bean

I can't get over the fact that my little Emmy is already 11 days old. How fast time is flying (and how little time I have for updating my blog! LOL) I want to write these thoughts down though before I forget them.

I never fathomed that I could love someone so deeply. That bond that they talk about between a Mom and her children is truly remarkable.

She is a beautiful baby (although I may be biased). She has this light brown/sandy blonde hair, and these amazing deep blue eyes. I am not sure that the eyes will stay that colour, since she is so young, but they are so beautiful.

Day Two: Emmy was still in the Special Care Nursery, but I got to go see her in the morning to feed her. The evil nurse from hell made me walk halfway there. I know that movement after a C-Section is supposed to help recovery, but it hurt so much. The pain was worth it when I saw my sweet little baby in the bed waiting for me. I had only seen her for a moment the night before, and I was pretty drugged up, so this was my first bonding chance with her.

I held Emmy, and we learned how to breastfeed. It's not an easy thing to do for either of us. I know with practise it will get easier, but it was very awkward in the beginning. On top of it, I only had a small divider in front of me, so one side of us was exposed. This made me feel self-conscious, as there were other people in the nursery (not staff) and here I was with my boob exposed.

Keith came to visit around noon and came for the feeding. Emmy still had monitors attached to her and an IV which almost made me cry, but she was doing really well. At 7 pm, she was released from the Special Care Nursery and came to stay with me in my room. It was hard to care for her while trying to recover from the C-Section, but with the nurses help, I did manage.

The C-Section was painful. Anytime I had to get up or down, I cried...it hurt so bad. They only had me on Tylonel 3's and they weren't touching the pain.

Regardless of all of the pain, it was so good to have Emmy with me, I felt like I had a chance to bond with her, in the privacy of my room, and get to know this little girl who had been kicking and squirming in my belly for the past 9 months.

Welcome to the world, Miss Emerson Faith....

On Monday, February 20th, 2006 at 7:39 PM, my life was changed forever.

That is when my beautiful daughter, Emerson Faith, was born.

This is her birth story...


I found out on February 19, 2006, that I would be having a C-Section delivery the following day. I had planned to work on February 20th & 21st to finish training my replacement at work, but apparently, my doctor had other plans!

After a stressful Sunday night frantically packing, occasionally freaking out, and Keith saying, "Can't you just tell him Friday (the original C-Section date) would be better?", I didn't have much sleep. I emailed everyone to let them know the change in date, and tried to relax.

Monday morning, I went into work and did whatever training I could in the hour and a half that we had before I had to be at the hospital. I left for the hospital at 9:30 am, and arrived by 9:45 am to get checked in.

I got settled into my room at the Maternity ward, and they had my IV started. No one knew when the surgery would be that day because it was considered an emergency and I was third on the list. Keith arrived at the hospital at noon and we spent the day waiting. I had been fasting since the night before, and the wait was very hard.

At 5 pm, we got the news. The surgery would be at 6:30 PM. Now the shock sets in. We are actually going to have this baby today! They come to "take me away" (haha) at 5:30, and Keith goes to the Labor and Delivery area to get suited up.

They take me to the OR wing, where I sit in a wheelchair while the Operating Room is prepared. The team of doctors (it still amazes me how many there were) start to assemble and introduce themselves to me. I was starting to freak out a bit, as it was getting very close, and very real!

I get wheeled into the OR, and I sit on the table to get the spinal block put in. This was the negative part of my birth experience. It took over 45 minutes for the anesthesiologist to get the spinal block in the right part of my spine. My back looks like a pin cushion. Twice, while trying to find the spot, she sent burning pains down my left leg. I was bawling, tense from the pain, and so utterly scared. Once she got the spinal in, and it started to work, I felt more relaxed. (And, that is the coolest feeling...your bum gets warm and your legs get tingly LOL).

Once I am laying down, they get me prepared. They put the drape up, test the skin to see if I am frozen or not, and get ready to go. Keith comes in at this point, dressed up like a Doctor on ER. It was so good to see him and it relaxed me to have him there.

As they started the surgery, I felt lots of pressure. I was warned of that. It was a surreal experience - being awake and being operated on. Keith and I just kept looking at each other, as neither of us were really comfortable.

The pressure seemed to hit a peak and I cried out. It was just pressure I was feeling, but it still hurt to a degree. It was forgotten when I looked past Keith and saw a nurse carry this tiny little human over to the team of Doctors waiting at the incubator.

I watched as they put the baby on the table, and I asked why the baby wasn't crying. They assured me that some babies don't. I kept looking and the baby kept looking at me. Finally, I think the shock wore off and I asked, "What is it?". No one had told me the sex yet! LOL
The nurse said, "It looks like a girl to me."
I looked at Keith and I said, "We have a daughter. I have a little girl." and I bawled.

The doctors were working on her, and my doctors were working on getting me back together. The pediatrics doctor told me that they were taking Bean to the Special Care Nursery because she was grunting. To me, that sounded like the funniest thing ever. Keith followed them to the nursery.

It was after all this excitement that I realized that I could feel my abdomen. Not just pressure, but what started as a burning, stinging pain. I tried to tell someone, but everyone was busy. As it got worse, I complained more, and they assured me it was just pressure. I said, "If pressure feels like burning, stinging pain, then sure." Suddenly, the anesthesiologist started pushing a needle into my IV. Seems that pesky spinal block wasn't working. And that is a feeling I won't easily forget! LOL

It seemed to take forever to get my abdomen sewn up. It was excruiciating. They kept saying, "just a few minutes more." I started to think they were lying. LOL

Finally, they were done. They transfered me to another bed and off to recovery I went.

The blessed nurse in recovery gave me some drugs in my IV for my abdomen. However, they also gave me Oxytoxin to start my uterus to contract. Oh, that was painful. No matter how much morphine they gave me, it felt like my abdomen was on fire.

Finally, Keith comes into recovery. I ask him how Bean is. He show's me the picture on the digital camera (the one above) and says, "She's perfect." The grunting she was doing is common in C-Section babies as the uterus never contracts to help clear the babies lungs of fluid. The doctors had her on an IV because her blood sugar was low (all that damn fasting, I tell you!) and they were watching her overnight in the Special Care nursery. But other than that, Keith assured me she had 10 fingers and 10 toes and was perfect.

Keith kept going back and forth from recovery to the Special Care Nursery. It seemed to be forever before I was wheeled up there to have my first good look at my daughter. Although, I couldn't hold her, I could tell one thing when I looked at her in the bed...Keith was right, she was perfect.

Stat's
Name: Emerson Faith
Birth: Feb 20, 2006, 7:39 PM
Weight: 5 lbs, 11 ozs
Height: 19.25"
Hair: light dusting of brown hair
Eyes: Blue

I Jinxed Myself - 37 weeks

I jinxed myself. Keith and I cleaned all day as it was our last full day off together before Bean arrives.

I washed all of Bean's clothes and blankets. I had just finished folding the clothes and the phone rang. It was my Doctor.

I am going in tommorow morning to get checked in and hydrated. I will be a Mom sometime tommorow!

Scary!

Yikes!

Gotta go pack my bag!

YIKES!!

Bear with me. Even though I have had 5 hours to digest everything that the OBGYN told me today, I am still COMPLETELY FREAKING OUT!!! LOL

Baby Bean will be joining this world NEXT WEEK! The latest date will be February 24th.

Bean is still breech, but I did know that. I assumed we would move on to discussing having a version done to switch his/her position. However, since my liver enzymes are abnormal (the OBGYN checked them to see if it was the cause of my rash), he does not want to attempt one.

So, when he brought up the C-Section, I assumed he would book me for 39 weeks or so. Nope. He wants to do it as soon as possible after I am 37 weeks. Which is next week. ACK!

He has an OR day for Feb 24th. That's the latest Bean will be born. He is going to try to borrow some OR time from another doctor to do it earlier in the week. I will find out my actual C-Section date later this week.

I have a non-stress test booked for Wednesday. Surgery and Bean's arrival next week. SCARY!!

I haven't quite processed all my thoughts about having the C-Section. Keith and I are quite sure that this will be our only child. Because of this, I feel like I will miss out on a part of childbirth by having the C-Section. I won't experience my water breaking, or real labor contractions. But, Bean will be here, so that will make it worthwhile.

It better be a girl...we still haven't figured out the whole circumcision thing yet and we don't have an agreed upon boy's name.

LOL

Random Vents (And Not Pregnancy Related For Once!)

What is with networks repeating the SAME commercials over and over and over again?

I swear if I see Halle Berry say, "FabUlash" ONE MORE TIME tonight, I will start DVR'ing ALL my television programs so I can fast forward through these annoying things.

Or, Keith's favorite, the pad commercial that asks women, "Does your pad ever get wet and sticky?" Come on now, I GET periods and I am grossed out!! Then in the commercial, they pour that special blue liquid on the pad and the "reporter" dabs it against her shirt to show how "dry it is". Since WHEN does that little bit of blue liquid even COMPARE to what a normal cycle is?

If they think I am going to go out and buy some FabUlash mascara or some non-sticky friggen pads, they can think again. I will avoid them solely for the fact that these commercials irritated me.

Okay, so I might just be cranky tonight. Bah!

36 Weeks!

Overview
Due Date: 03/12/2006
Week: 36+0 days
Month: 9
Trimester: 3
Fetus Age: 34 weeks

Daily Info Tibit
Your Hospital Bag: By now you've probably already packed your hospital bag and have it waiting by the front door if you are very organized.

Umm, nope. I still haven't done that yet. Probably because I am the most disorganized person on the planet! LOL

Mental note: Get the hospital bag ready.

I think part of my reluctance to get the bag ready is simply the feeling that I am going to be pregnant forever! LOL

28 Days remain until my due date
7 days remain until I am considered full term

Okay, those stats make me feel like I won't be pregnant forever.

Since last night, I have felt really HEAVY. I don't know what the change is, but I am just feeling so much more like a Bavarian smokie sausage that's been in the boiling water a little too long. My back has been very achy, so that never helps!

We had our first trip to the L&D last Thursday because I woke up in pain. I didn't think it was labor (which it wasn't) but I was diagnosed with an irritable uterus. Well, I could have told them that, I am irritable, why wouldn't my uterus be irritable too? LOL

I keep looking for signs that my body is getting ready to go into labor. I will probably drive myself crazy for the next 4 weeks. I check for discharge, I wonder if my back spasms are the beginning of labor, or just that my back is spasming.

I see the OBGYN tommorow to see if Bean has flipped. I know he/she hasn't yet, as I can feel his/her head just under my ribs. So, I don't know if he will push for a C-section or try to do the manual turning of the baby. The manual turning scares me a bit. I have heard it is quite painful, and there are risks to the baby (cord entaglement etc). And sometimes, even if they manage to flip baby around to the proper position, the baby flips back to being breech before delivery.

But, I will wait and see on what he suggests to do. I have been doing my exercises to flip baby, much to Keith's amusement. (The ass in the air, on all fours, head on the ground) The OBGYN says they don't work, but I thought it couldn't hurt!

And tommorow, I start training the person who will replace me for the next year at work. Yikes, I only have 7 more working days left! Now that is scary!

35 Weeks!

Overview
Due Date: 03/12/2006
Week: 35+0 days
Month: 9
Trimester: 3
Fetus Age: 33 weeks

Wow! Month 9! That's a bit scary! LMAO I think I might be having a baby soon! ACK! LOL

35 days till my due date
45 days till the induce if I am overdue
14 days till I am considered full term!!!!

All is well on baby front. I have my last bi-weekly doctor's appointment on Tuesday. Then, I start going weekly until birth. I see the OBGYN on February 13th to see if Bean has flipped from breech or not. I don't think he/she has yet, but there is still time!

I gave my notice at work on Thursday. It was a weird feeling. It was even stranger to see my job being advertised in our daily paper on Saturday. It must have taken me over 2 hours to write my letter, and I am not quitting, simply going on maternity leave! Well, I have the excuse that I have never done it before! LOL

So, my last day of work should be around February 21/06. That puts me at 37 weeks pregnant - a little earlier than I wanted to go off, but it works with the scheduling at work, and also it works in case I do need a C-Section and they want to do it earlier than 40 weeks. I want to have some time off between working and baby to get the house together and to have some "me-time".

Hopefully, we can get someone good in next week to train and all will be good.

As far as symptoms go, heartburn has increased dramatically. It's yucky. Other than that, I am finding it far more difficult to move around, but I better adapt since it is just going to get worse in the next few weeks! LOL

Great News!

I had my follow-up ultrasound last Thursday to check on Bean's growth. Yesterday, I had an appointment with the OBGYN to discuss the results.

Bean is doing well! Wooohooo! The ultrasound showed he/she was about 4 lbs, which is about a week behind, but showed solid growth. All very, very good news.

The OBGYN was ready to release me back to my regular doctor, however, since Bean is still breech, he decided to have me back in two weeks when I am 36 weeks pregnant to see if Bean has flipped. If he/she hasn't, then we need to look at a possible C-Section.

So, good news overall. Bean has lots of time to flip, so I am not too concerned about that yet. We will just see how it goes.

34 Weeks!

Overview
Due Date: 03/12/2006
Week: 34+0 days
Month: 8
Trimester: 3
Fetus Age: 32 weeks

42 Days until my Due Date.
52 Days until the latest they will induce me.
21 Days until I am considered full-term.

Time is certainly passing quite quickly here!!

I have a new symptom! I have begun to feel "real" contractions. It scared the crap out of me when it happened yesterday, but they are certainly not regular to any degree. I have been having Braxton-Hicks contractions for months now, but they are painless unless I am walking a great distance.

Keith asked how I knew it was a real contraction versus a "fake" one. I replied, "Well, they hurt." LOL Still, it is false labor until the cervix changes, so all is good.

There have been quite a few March babies arriving already. The bigger board that I go to has had 4 now I think. The smaller board I visit more frequently just had its first March baby on Friday. It is so scary to think it could happen at anytime!!

I have another OBGYN appointment tommorow, so I plan to attempt the shaving thing again tonight. I strained my back last week when I tried to! LMAO However, this will ensure he won't pull another surprise pelvic exam on me! LOL If I am prepared, he won't do one. It's when I am not prepared that he gets me to strip. Damn men!

I had another ultrasound on Thursday, and according to me, Bean seems to be growing quite well. The tech estimated the weight to be 4 lbs, which to me is good. Considering I have 6 weeks left to go, that gives Bean lots of time to get above 5 lbs. We will see what the OBGYN has to say about it tommorow.

I think my main fear at this point is not knowing when Bean will arrive. Sure there is an estimate with the due date, and being full term, but really, Bean could come tommorow, next week, or 7 weeks from now. There is no knowing exactly when. I would like to work until the beginning of March, but we will see how I do.

Help, I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up!

Have I mentioned that I am a teeny bit on the klutzy side?

I am so klutzy that Keith, when we are out walking together, will actually say to me, "Eyes down" to remind me to watch where I am going.

I have had two major falls since being with him. The first one, we were walking back to our apartment that we used to share, and I was carrying Wendy's fast food. We were talking away and then BAM, down I went. There was a tiny little divit in the concrete that my foot managed to find and I ended up strewn all over the pavement amongst the fries and pop that we had just bought.

The second one was a bit more nasty. I had woken up, and I was still groggy. I came out to the living room in our apartment and I was perplexed as to where Keith was. I turned around quickly and said his name trying to figure out where he was. When I did that, I lost my balance, and fell into the coffee table, breaking both the coffee table and my right arm.

Since those two incidences, Keith has been more aware of my inherent lack of balance. I haven't had any other big falls, but definitely a few bruises and scrapes along the way.

I think Keith cursed me however. He said to me just the other day, "I am so proud of you, you haven't fallen once while being pregnant."

Until this morning.

I went to leave to go to work. As I was walking towards my Jeep, everything was fine. Next thing I knew, I was on my hands and knees with my purse and keys airborne.

I try to figure out how to get up, as I am hurting. I am desperately trying not to cry (I am a big baby, and it hurt). I manage to get up and hobble back into the house, as I knew I needed to sit down before I could drive.

As I open the door, I said, "Oww". I have never seen Keith move so fast! As soon as he saw me limping, he knew what had happened. I started to cry (again, because I am a big baby), and we survey the damage I have inflicted on myself.

Not too bad, nothing broken anyhow. My right knee is skinned pretty nastily, and the bruises were already coming up on my right shin. More war wounds. LOL

I calm down, and I get my butt to work. Once at work, I realize I have hurt my left wrist as well. I don't think I broke anything (no swelling), but it sure hurt like a bugger all day! (Hmm, could it be from the sheer mass of me being thrown upon it? LOL) I was going to go to the doctor, but I decided since Bean was moving quite well (probably pissed off at me for waking him/her up so suddenly), that I didn't really need to.

So, if I waddled before, it is worse now! LOL I feel like I was in a car accident! (And I have had a few of those too! LOL).

Ahh, the joys of having no sense of balance!

Wooooohoooooo!

Okay, I am happy.

I slept through the night.

I didn't have to get up to pee (probably means I deprived baby of water yesterday LOL). I didn't wake up with 4 am back spasms. I slept all the way from 10:00 till my alarm went off at 6:15. I didn't even feel like I needed to hit snooze. I did have to run (and I mean RUN) to the washroom this morning, for fear I was going to pee myself, but the sleep was worth it!

My cold even feels better today. I can breathe and I am not sniffling at all.

Woooohoooooo! It is amazing what a good nights sleep will do!

More 4 AM Ramblings...

Okay, this waking up during the night thing is beginning to suck. I know it's just nature's way of preparing me for the sleepless nights that Bean will give me in the future, but that doesn't mean I cannot complain about it now.

I went to bed at 9:45 PM. Pretty early for me, but I am still not 100%. At 10:30 PM, I was still awake as I couldn't get comfortable. Finally, I fell asleep.

I woke up at 1 AM to pee. I woke up at 3 AM because I was thirsty. I woke up at 4 AM because I was having lovely back spasms (again - what is with the back spasms at 4 AM, people?). Since I was awake, I went pee again. And now, here I sit. My back is hurting and I am waiting for the Tylonel to kick in so I might get another hour of sleep in before my alarm goes off.

All this waking up in the middle of the night won't be quite as bad once I am on maternity leave, but right now, it sucks.

I NEED SOME SLEEP!! LOL

33 Weeks Today!

Overview
Due Date: 03/12/2006
Week: 33+0 days
Month: 8
Trimester: 3
Fetus Age: 31 weeks

49 Days Until My Due Date
28 Days Until I am Full-Term

Wow! Again, I am astonished at how fast time is ticking away here.

We went shopping again today and bought some more bottles, bottle liners (because I plan to pump as well), baby care stuff (lotion and stuff), pacificers, safety covers for the outlets, and a bottle warmer. Keith likes the electronic baby gadgets. Completely unnecessary, but he insisted, and he was paying. LOL I never complain when he's paying! LOL

Oh, and he bought his video baby monitor. Yes, our teenager will not be safe any longer as there will be video surveillance in the house now. LOL I am pretty impressed with it, picks up sound amazingly well and the picture is nice and clear. It's obviously a bit more bulky than a regular baby monitor, so moving it around is a bit trickier, but I think having it in the living room will work just fine.

I went out to the thrift stores yesterday and bought a bunch of clothes (probably 10-15 outfits) for $20. I still need some onesies in newborn size, but I am sure I will be able to get some soon.

So, my shopping list is getting a bit smaller now...

What we still need:
Crib
Crib Mattress
Crib Mattress Protector
Crib Bedding
Baby Thermometer
Baby nail clippers
Diapers and Wipes (We are going to make a Costco trip here soon and get them from there)
Newborn-sized onesies
Rubbing alcohol for the umbilical cord

And I think that's it! I am sure little things will pop up as I have never done this before, and have NO clue what I am doing, but I think we have the basics (and a few unnecessary basics KEITH) covered.

Circumcision Debate

On the two pregnancy boards that I frequent, whenever this topic comes up, it gets extremely heated. Pregnant women are very passionate about this subject! LOL

Since I am becoming more and more convinced I am having a boy, I have been thinking about this lately. Obviously, I won't know for sure until delivery, however, I am a research freak and I like to be prepared.

The one thing I love about the internet is the sheer amount of information available to a person with a few keywords. If you can think it, someone's probably got a webpage on it. It is amazing!

Whenever I thought about having a boy, the idea of circumcision wasn't even a question to me. I would have it done. I have had a boyfriend who wasn't circumcised (although he is a poor example, I will admit) and I did not like the fact that he wasn't, solely for the hygiene reasoning. All my other boyfriends (without making me sound like some slut), have been circumcised. I have to say that I personally prefer it.

But is my personal preference really enough to justify cutting a part of my son's penis off? It is unnecessary surgery in the eyes of the medical profession nowadays, and is not covered by Canada's medical coverage any longer.

Keith is pro-circumcision as well. There is no question to him. He was circumcised, therefore baby will be (if it's a boy, of course! LOL).

The following was part of a pregnancy newsletter I get sent to me each week, which is probably the reason I started writing about it.

Circumcision or Not
This question, much like the one regarding breastfeeding, is the subject of a great amount of debate. Some couples choose to circumcise for religious reasons, while others do so simply because it is more popular or is considered by some to be safer. The American Academy of Pediatrics has not issued an opinion for or against circumcision.

Here are the facts so that you can better decide what's best for your child:
1. A circumcised penis is easier to clean.
2. Circumcision early in life eliminates the risk of it being necessary later in life. (Sometimes men and older boys having a circumcision experience phimosis, a rare problem in which the foreskin becomes unretractable.)
3. Circumcision may reduce the incidence of urinary tract infection in infant boys.
4. Circumcision reduces the risk of penile cancer, which occurs in fewer than 1 in 100,000 elderly men. (The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists says that good hygiene can be just as effective as circumcision at preventing this cancer.)

Reasons not to circumcise:
1. It hurts! A new anesthesia has been developed, but it is still being tested.
2. Complications, though rare, can occur.
3. Some health insurance plans no longer cover it.
4. The foreskin is a normal piece of tissue which is not necessary to remove. (One study states that it is protective for the first year of life.)

Oh maybe Bean will turn out to be a girl and I can just debate on whether to get her ears pierced or not. (A much easier decision, since if she doesn't like them later in life, she can just take them out! LOL)

4 AM Ramblings from a Sick Woman

Ugh. Why is it when I am exhausted that I can't sleep?

I still have this yucky cold. Hopefully, with today off from work, I will start to feel somewhat human again.

Keith, who has been promising to take me to see the Chronicles of Narnia since it started playing here (Dec 8th), said that we could go today. I am sure the other movie patrons would love to hear me blow my nose 14 thousand times during the movie. LOL I think we will skip it yet again. Plus, I would be willing to bet that he will have forgot about his promise by the time he wakes up!

I had a dream about Bean last night. It was a boy, with blonde hair and blue eyes. I don't know if it is significant or not, since I have been dreaming about both sexes throughout the course of this pregnancy. I can't even recall what was going on in the dream, just that I saw him.

I have some fears about having a boy. Will I be able to relate to a boy as much as I think I will be able to relate to a girl? One of my friends who had a boy first said that it is not an issue, that I will, without question. Will I regret not having a girl as well (since this will be my only child)? And if Bean is a girl, will I regret not trying for a boy and having the stereotypical family?

Ah...I should have just had twins, one of each, and then I wouldn't have this dilemma! haha

I Need Diapers...

And not for the baby-to-be!

Wow, can I say how sexy I am feeling?
Let's point out the many ways that I am feeling sexy:

1. Keith took off my shoes for me last night, which was sweet because I was hurting after grocery shopping and giving blood to the vampires at the lab. Unfortunately, he untied them. I almost had to wake him up today to get him to tie them for me again. Luckily, I was able to move my legs around a bit and actually reach my feet - however, that one feat exhausted me and I wanted to go back to bed.

2. All my shirts that used to fit me are now half-tops. I spent half the day showing my belly like a fat Britney Spears wannabe because I was too tired to find another shirt this morning.

3. I am sick. Therefore, I am having a few coughing fits throughout the day. I peed in my pants while coughing (hence the title of this). Time for a retirement home and some Depends.

4. I am so clumsy, and I am dropping things all the time. I have now given up trying to pickup anything that's not life-threatening. All day long at work, I drop paper clips, or little pieces of paper, and I know to pick them up would require a major exertion on my part. It's just not worth it. Let the janitor think I am a lazy slob.

5. Have I mentioned my grunting and groaning when going from a sitting to a standing position or vice versa? There's sexy in a nutshell.

6. My nipples (I know you all needed to know this) leak. So, between the leaky nipples and the peeing in my pants, I feel like I am a human water balloon that has sprung a few slow leaks.

Ah...how I could go on. 52 days to go.

It's Official - I am Sick

I was hoping the overwhelming crappy feeling I was having yesterday was simply a reaction to being at work, or tired, or the fact that certain people there tend to piss me off.

Nope. I am sick. Yuck.

I have a cold. So, I am whiny. Bear with me.

I wish it was Saturday, then I could go back to bed where I want to hibernate. However, it is Wednesday, therefore work calls. I need a clone I can send to work instead.

The Specialist Appointment

I cannot stress this next fact enough. I LOVE this OBGYN!

He makes you feel like a person, not a number. He is funny, and never makes you feel stupid! He has great bedside manner and is so thorough in his work, which gives me so much confidence in his ability to take care of Bean and I.

My one complaint about today's appointment is the unexpected pelvic exam! I like to be 'prepared' for these, and they sprung this one on me. UGH! I actually said to the OBGYN when he came into the room, "Is it a requirement to see you that I have to be naked from the waist down?" He laughed.

He started off with some good thoughts. He isn't too terribly concerned at this point about Bean's slow growth. He/She is growing, and may just be a small baby. But, he did state he intended to follow this through (rather than just pushing it off to the side), to make sure all is well. We went over the ultrasounds that I have had so far, and then it was on to the exam.

My cervix is closed and is everything it is supposed to be at this time. (He spouted off some stuff about it being at the right angle or something - but I have preggo brain and I can't remember.)

My blood pressure was a bit higher than he liked, but between the stress of anticipating the apppointment, and the IDIOT who I nearly plowed into on the way to the appointment probably had something to do with that. (The idiot, for clarification, had a stop sign and just came out into my lane. He stopped his car in front of mine, as I had to slam on my brakes, and he just stared at me! IDIOT!)

The OBGYN had me do relaxation and imagery to see if we could bring down my blood pressure. I was amazed. Most doctors just accept the original reading and move on.

I get another ultrasound within 2 weeks to check on Bean's growth (I KNEW someone had some pull in this town - normally the wait list is 4 weeks - which is why I had to go to Quesnel.)

Another reason I love this man is that he gave me NO issue about my weight. I was waiting for the "lecture", since I have gained about 20-25 lbs so far. Because I was overweight to begin with - I should only be gaining 15-25 lbs throughout the entire pregnancy, and I still have 7 weeks to go! He agreed with my stance that my main priority is to eat a healthy diet, not count calories at this time. I figure, I only have one chance to get this pregnancy right, the rest of my life to lose weight.

He actually looked at my rash when he gave me the opportunity to complain about the pregnancy. He is sending me for some bloodwork to rule out a liver condition that can also cause a rash, but is sure it is PUPPPS. He also wrote me a prescription for a cream to help it. I LOVE HIM. My other Doctor just said I had to deal with it. I am hoping the cream helps and that I may finally have some relief from the itch!

I see him again on January 30th, and he is hoping to have the ultrasound results by that point. Incredible. I am waiting to see when my ultrasound is, but I am sure his office will call me tommorow to let me know.

The sheer amount of appointments is starting to overwhelm me. I saw my regular pregnancy doctor last week, OBGYN this week, regular doctor next week, and then back to the OBGYN the following week. Oh, and I will have an ultrasound in there somewhere! Crazy! But it makes me happy that I am getting pro-active care without having to scream to get it.

Reality TV...Part Two

It is almost time.

Yes, tomorrow is the premiere of American Idol. I get obsessed every year with this damn show. So much so, that by the time it is over, and Canadian Idol starts, I am emotionally spent and cannot go through the gamut again. It's sad really.

It is possible that I get more American Idol obsessed than I am pregnancy obsessed. Scary thought, hey? Good thing I didn't have a blog last year!

We have prenatal class tommorow night, which means Keith will be setting the DVR up to tape it. I thought I would have to beg him this year, but he actually has been the one turning on the repeats of last years shows on the Fox Reality Channel and he reminded me when the premiere was on.

It only took a few years to get him hooked! LOL

It is these repeats that bring me to the topic I am venting about. I realize that the Powers-That-Be have to come up with original, creative and engaging ideas when debuting new reality programs. I completely understand that the publics demand for more creates the need to push the envelope a bit. However, the commercial I viewed this evening has disturbed me.

The new show that they are promoting? "Who's Your Daddy?"

From the Fox Website:

FOX SPECIAL:“WHO’S YOUR DADDY?”
After a lifetime of separation, does the bond between parent and child remain? A reunion show like no other, WHO’S YOUR DADDY? provides a woman, who was given up for adoption as an infant, with an extraordinary opportunity to meet the birth father who also has been searching for her. But wait, there’s a twist. Before meeting her dad, the young woman will be presented with eight men, all claiming to be her father, and she must determine which one really is. And to keep her real dad from revealing himself from the start, there is $100,000 at stake for his daughter. She will have opportunities to interview and observe the men, narrowing the field. If she guesses right, the prize will be hers. If she guesses wrong, the imposter will win the money. Either way, daughter and father will be reunited on the dramatic and emotional special WHO’S YOUR DADDY?

Although I am glad that regardless of the outcome, the father and daughter are reunited, this disturbs me on so many levels. How difficult emotionally would it be to be presented with 8 men, all claiming to be your father and having to pick and choose between them to decide who fathered you? How would you feel, or how would the father feel if you chose wrong? You have never met this man. I think that any person, being reunited with their birth parent would have a huge amount of emotions to deal with, let alone turning that experience into a game for the world to see.

I know the participants sign up willingly. It just scares me that this is what Reality TV is coming to. Maybe I am just being too close-minded this evening.

Yeah! We went shopping!

I am not quite as panicked anymore! We have progress on the shopping list for bean!

We went to Walmart and bought a breast pump, nursing pads and a protector for the bed. Not too big of a shopping trip, but thats three things I don't have to worry about anymore!

Keith still wants to get the video monitor for Bean's room, even though its way more expensive. Boys and their toys!

He says the video monitor is the way to go because then we can spy on the kid when its a teen. LOL I hope he's joking.

32 Weeks - Officially 8 Months Pregnant!

Overview:
Due Date: 03/12/2006
Week: 32+0 days
Month: 8
Trimester:3
Fetus Age: 30 weeks

Wow! I can't believe how the weeks are passing me by here! 32 weeks pregnant! Yikes!

This may help to show why I am a bit ansy about how fast time is flying...

There are 56 days left until my Due Date.
If I go overdue, the hospital will induce me no later than 10 days after my EDD, which means 66 days.
36 days until I am considered full-term. There's the number that scares me a bit!

Basically, sometime in the next two months, my baby is going to be born! Yikes!

I still haven't figured out when I am going to start my maternity leave. I get a year (I LOVE Canada!) on E.I. at 55% of my gross wage. I can start it at anytime, however, I do want to work for as long as I can, as the money is needed!

I will see what the specialist has to say about Bean on Tuesday. That will help me decide. If he thinks that they will deliver bean earlier than anticipated, then obviously, I will be off a bit earlier. My boss, who was freaking out a bit, is now being really good about the "not knowing". I did promise him a month's notice before I went off, but now he says 2 weeks should be plenty.

I would like to work until the beginning of March (leaving around March 3 - depending on how Month End goes). That would give me a week off before Bean's due date (providing he/she is not early) to get everything done.

I still have quite the list of what I need for Bean's arrival. I don't think I am getting a shower, so that has me a bit panicked.
My shopping list:
1. Crib and Mattress (Keith did say he was going to take care of this - we'll see! LOL)
2. Mattress protector for my bed
3. Mattress protector for crib
4. Breast pump
5. Bedding for crib
6. First Aid kit with themometer etc.
7. Changing table accessories - Desitin, wipes, diapers in various sizes, Vaseline.
8. Bathing accessories - soap, shampoo
9. A few more clothes. I am lacking newborn size clothes, although I know they grow out of them quick, if baby is small, then I will need a few more.
10. A lamp for baby's room so I don't have to turn on the overhead light when changing.
11. Baby monitor

Arghhh! I need to win the lottery! LOL

Scratch, Scratch, Scratch

I don't think I will have any skin left on my body once this pregnancy is over!

I haven't complained about my pregnancy-induced rash lately, so I am about to do so now! LOL

The rash has moved to my back, which SUCKS. Mainly because it means I can't scratch it (which is actually good), but basically, all day, every day, my back itches constantly. It will put me in the psychiatric ward sooner or later. My skin is moisturized...but it doesn't help. In fact, putting some Vitamin E cream on my belly on Thursday night caused an allergic reaction and a different rash. GRR!

Last night, Keith scratched my back for me. It was better than sex! But, it's only a moment or two until the damn itching returns! Arghhh! I wonder if I could pay someone to just scratch my back for me all day?

Other than my back, it seems to have settled on the left side of my abdomen and my shoulders. So, I scratch the crap outta those areas! LOL

Okay, the complaining is over, for now.

I saw my Doctor on Thursday to find out the update on Baby Bean, and for my regular 2 week prenatal appointment. It's just crazy to see the Doctor this much. I see him more than I see most of my friends!!!

Everything was looking good, blood pressure and the urine was good (I know you were dying to know haha). When he was feeling me up (the belly, what were you thinking? Pregnant women only get their bellies felt up! lol) he remarked "Good size". (Wow, I am glad I was specific over what he was feeling up now!). Baby's heartrate was 144 BPM.

When we got to the ultrasound report, he saw that Bean is still measuring behind. He tried to do some math on the pregnancy wheel to figure out the growth pattern, but I think Bean is confusing him. He said that he thinks we should get a second opinion (yet, he never really told me what his opinion was). So, next week, I am off to my old OBGYN who cut me open last year.

We will see how it goes. I don't think they will take Bean out early, since he/she is still growing in there, but I don't have a medical certificate hanging on my office wall. I am hoping they will let him/her cook in there for a bit longer, I am not ready for baby to be here yet!! (I am still praying that nesting will occur here soon, since my house is a pigsty!!)

Holy Heartburn Batman!

Okay...this officially sucks.

I have been getting such bad heartburn for the last week or so, but tonight it was horrible! I was sitting in the middle of prenatal class wondering if I could get myself off the floor before puking. I didn't puke, however, it was such powerful heartburn, I sure felt like I was going to. Yuck, yuck, yuck!

Then, I had an intense craving for McDonald's french fries on the way home. Now that's good for the high blood pressure!! haha Luckily, the debit system was down at McDonald's, therefore saving me from killing my arteries with some fast food that I certainly didn't need!

Since I seem to be bitching, I will continue for a bit! LOL Baby Bean, as much as I love when he/she moves around and kicks, has aquired a new little habit that is not so much fun. It feels like it's using some internal organs (that I require for daily living) for leverage to move around. Seriously, it feels like its digging its toes into my abdomen to "push off". Not so much fun since it really hurts when it does it. A kick is quick, this "push off" sensation takes a few moments to pass, and then I feel baby rolling in my belly. The rolling sensation is neat, the precursor to it is not!

The prenatal teacher told us that instead of the 8-10 glasses of water she had instructed us to drink each day (which I do now), we need to up that to 12-16! How do you put that much fluid in your body without turning into a human water balloon???

Ah...the joys of pregnancy! 8 weeks to go! LOL

31 Weeks

Overview
Due Date: 03/12/2006
Week: 31+0 days
Month: 8
Trimester: 3
Fetus Age: 29 weeks

Ahh...I love the passing of the weeks! The site I go to has me in the 8th month already, but that's a bit incorrect. I am in my 8th month of pregnancy, but I am actually 7 & 3/4 months pregnant. Next week I can officially say I am 8 months pregnant.

Wow, now that's scary. It's coming so fast! Ack!

The first trimester seemed to go by slow, mainly due to stress about the pregnancy in general, I think. Plus, when you are having all-day nausea, it doesn't tend to make time go by any faster.

The second trimester FLEW by to me. And I loved the second trimester. That was when the nausea went away, my breasts were touchable again, and I began to feel pregnant. The first flutters, the little tickling from inside my belly, that turned into real kicks. There was something going on in my belly.

The third trimester has been good so far symptoms-wise. The usual complaints that every pregnant woman faces. More heartburn, back pain, tiredness, Braxton-Hicks contractions, and a growing belly that puts pressure on every other part of your body. However, with the bad, comes the good. The bigger belly is amazing me. When baby does a somersault in my belly, and my belly actually changes shape for a few moments, is an incredible sight and feeling. When baby kicks, my belly moves. So, overall, it's a good thing. I never thought I would be so happy to lose sight of my feet! LOL

I am enjoying pregnancy at this point. Sure, there are annoyances, but there are a lot of things that I am grateful for.

What I love about being pregnant:
1. I love feeling baby move. I think I will miss that so much once baby is born. To me, when I am laying on the couch, with my hand on my belly, and baby is kicking or just shifting position, I am so utterly happy. It's an absolutely indescribable feeling.

2. I love my big belly. Being a bigger girl to begin with, I always felt I had to "hide" my fat. Pregnant woman are supposed to show off their bellies! I love the self-confidence of not having to worry about whether a pair of pants shows off too much belly, etc.

3. I feel blessed that I am even pregnant, and that in 8 weeks and some change, I will be a Mom. That is so amazing to me. For so long, I was told it wouldn't be part of my future, and now here it is. How am I so worthy of this?

Some minor annoyances that I won't miss:
1. The not being able to bend over thing. When I just had a fat belly, it just squished together and you could bend over without a problem. Not quite the same with a preggo belly. It is just there, and is like concrete if you try to do something you could do pre-pregnancy.

2. The peeing more often, the raging hormones, the digestive issues, back pain, and the constant exhaustion. Definitely won't miss those.

3. The "Not-Knowing". I always figured I would just sail through pregnancy without any worries or stress. It's supposed to be a happy time. But from the moment I found out, to the worries that I would miscarry, whether I could handle being a Mother, or that something was wrong with baby, the worries never cease. It's probaby just a preparation for Motherhood. Even now, when the fear of miscarriage is abated slightly (since baby could survive outside of the womb), I worry. I worry when baby doesn't kick as much as it did yesterday. I worry that I will go into labor early and baby will have a struggle. Pregnancy is not an easy journey for sure.

My annoyances seem long, however, every single one of them will be worth it the moment my baby is in my arms.

Ahh Sunday Morning :-)

I love Sunday mornings...

I never feel any major pressure to do anything on Sundays. Keith normally has them off, so he sleeps late. I putter around the house until he wakes up and we spend the day together. It's our "together" day. I love the lazy feeling!

I decided, as I usually do, to make a big breakfast around 11. I guess, technically, it was brunch. He was still sleeping, but he usually wakes up to the smell of food! LOL

I put on the hashbrowns and sausages, and go upstairs quickly to use the washroom. I am gone less than 5 minutes (I just had to pee and wash my hands for crying out loud!). When I return to the kitchen, my hashbrowns are black. Apparantly, I left the heat on a little high. Grrr.

No big deal, so we don't have hashbrowns. The rest turned out quite well. Baby is moving around in my belly, so he/she must have enjoyed it (or is complaining that I burnt the sausages a bit much!) Some days, I am an amazing cook, most days, I tend to get distracted and burn things. I never would have made it in the 50's, I tell you. Although, they didn't have the internet to distract a woman back then! LOL

One thing I am noticing now that I am getting bigger, is that my shirts tend to get stains around the belly mark. I don't think I am quite adjusting to my new size yet. My belly hits things before I do now, so it makes things interesting (like cooking). I always have to be careful I am standing far enough away from the stove that I don't burn my belly! LOL

Ultrasound Day!

Road Trip!

I was a bit concerned over my planned trip to Quesnel today. I love to drive, however, it's the middle of winter, and I am 7 & 1/2 months pregnant. On top of that, I had to chug 32 ounces of fluid and drive in a bumpy Jeep for 2 hours without peeing myself. That in itself is a challenge.

I picked my friend Poppy up at 9 am. Keith felt better about me taking the trip if I had someone with me, and Poppy volunteered to go. Two preggo ladies on a roadtrip. It was very Thelma and Louise minus the cop chase and cliff dives.

We stopped in Hixon to do to required pee break and fluid check. The roads were beautiful, clear and dry. My worry about freezing rain and bad conditions seemed to be abated for the time being.

We made it to Quesnel by 10:50 am. Perfect timing.

Weird thing. They made me get changed into a hospital gown. I was getting worried that they had me scheduled for something different than a simple ultrasound. At all my previous scans in Prince George, the tech simply lifts your shirt and lowers your pants. I looked quite cute in my pink hospital gown with my black socks and clunky shoes on. Oh, to have a digital camera at that point.

I got into the ultrasound, and the technician was so funny. Not so good when you have a very full bladder that he's about to poke with the ultrasound stick, but I managed not to pee all over the table. When he said I could go empty my bladder, I told him that I loved him. He responded with, "Oh sure, tell me that AFTER you get married!" He was hilarious!

I come back and he lets Poppy into the room to watch. He showed us the profile, spine, heart, bladder and stomach of Baby Bean. He also showed us a leg or two, but I couldn't really make it out. The heartrate was 140 BPM.

We again get no indication of sex. Bean is still breech and curled in a position that makes it impossible to tell. This baby is stubborn. I ate a Caramilk in the car on the way, in hopes it would make Bean do the "chocolate sugar dance" in my belly, but it was unsuccessful. This baby is making sure I get the surprise ending!

The GOOD news: Baby Bean has grown. He/She is still measuring behind where it should be, however, it has grown considerably since my last ultrasound. That is a HUGE relief to me. I am 30 weeks and 5 days at the moment, and Bean is measuring 28 weeks 4 days. I can deal with a small baby, was just so frightened that Bean wasn't growing at all!

So, it seems good, but I will find out more info from my Doctor next week at my next prenatal appointment.

The ride home from Quesnel was interesting to say the least. It must have started to snow in Prince George and surrounding areas slightly after we left. On the way back, roads that were dry and clear on 3 hours earlier, were covered in snow. I couldn't see the lines on the road over half the way home. Add in heavy snow, slushy sections, and semi-trucks passing me which sprayed slush all over my windshield, and it made for a cranky me. We must have seen 5 plows going the opposite direction, yet NONE going our way. They must have been behind us.

But we made it safe and sound, with the exception to my poor windshield that now has some rock chips in it.

The Spider Came Back...The Very Next Day...

Can I stress again how much I hate spiders? Not only just hate but have a pure, irrational fear of them. I get so scared of these little things that I cannot even bring myself close enough to kill them. I back away, shaking in fear, and call in the Master Spider Killer (a.k.a. Keith).

I believe one of the first questions I asked Keith before we started dating was whether he would kill spiders for me AND remove the bodies. It's a qualifying question really. Keith almost failed that question. He likes to think of spiders as our "friends". I don't care if he thinks they are friendly, as long as he killls them for me.

My day started out eventful (for me). My Windex-coated spider from Wednesday evening decided to make an appearance in my shower this morning. As I stumbled into the shower (as I usually do, since I am more than half asleep), I ended up facing this dangling creepy critter. He was doing that creepy, gross, dangling thing less than 2 inches away from my face.

ACK!

So, as I nearly fall getting out of the shower as fast as I can, I do the "spider call", in hopes that the Master Spider Killer will come save me from my impending death by this 8-legged creature. Alas, Keith was comatose on the couch, tired from a night of Xbox'ing and dreaming of his package from Future Shop that he was picking up today, that he did not wake to my cries of panic.

Mental note: Must get airhorn.

Since Keith was not coming to my aid, I chose to try to drown the nasty thing. I lifted the spray as high as it would go, but the dang spider started crawling higher.

I called out again in hopes that he just thought it was a false alarm. No movement. Keith might actually be in a coma. But I cannot worry about that right now, there is a spider in my midst.

I turn back to the shower and the spider is gone. I cannot see him at all. I look up, down, everywhere. This spider can disappear faster than Houdini. This is twice in two days that this thing has escaped his impending death.

The spider must die.

So, I reach in to turn off the shower. There is no way in this lifetime I am showering with the dangly thing threatening to land on my head. I will sacrifice my hygeine for my sanity for the day.

Honestly, I am sane.

Tired Now...Can I Go Back to Sleep?

Have I indicated how much I dislike mornings recently?

I am so bone-achingly tired this morning. I haven't slept well this week at all. I need to start napping when I get home from work.

The sock I put on has a hole in the middle toe. I am too tired to care at this point. I know it will annoy me all day, but I cannot bring myself to go find another pair of socks. How bad is that?

Keith and I started our prenatal classes last night. He was not looking forward to them. The "early-bird" prenatal classes we took in November included a touchy-feely Dad's class where they put all the Dad's in a room by themselves and want them to share their feelings with each other. Keith's a quiet guy...he didn't say a full sentence to me until our second date! LMAO So, to say he wasn't comfortable sharing his feelings with a bunch of strangers would be a fair assessment.

Overall, I have to say he did well. I was the one who had to contain my laughter during the breathing exercises. Next week is the dreaded birthing video.

Oh, here's a funny thing. There was (and probably is) a spider in my bathroom. It made its appearance yesterday around 5 pm. I sprayed it with some Windex. Why Windex, you ask? Because it was the only weapon I had at the moment that didn't require me to get too close to it.

So, when I went pee at 3 am, I was so scared that the spider was going to pop down on my head to pay me back for spraying it with the ammonia substance that I hit my nose on the wall. Hard. Ouch. It still hurts now.

Not only am I resembling Humpty Dumpty before he fell off the wall, I now resemble him after he had his "big fall". LOL

Guess the Sex!

Okay, I set up a free online baby pool....

I am not sure if anyone reads this blog or not, but if you do and feel like voting, please do!


Go to: http://www.expectnet.com/
You have to register...but its really quick!

The name of my game is BabyBean4Us

Thanks!

State of Our Medical System?

Apparantly, the medical system in British Columbia is still in need of serious help!

No, really! I'm not making this up!

Here I am complaining that I have to drive 2 hours this coming Friday to have a simple ultrasound done (and I am going to a smaller community to have it done), and someone ended up giving birth in a car in Penticton.

Did they go to the hospital too late? Was it an extremely quick delivery?

Nope. They went to their local hospital (Princeton Hospital) and they were told to drive to the larger hospital about 100 km's away. The woman was in labor and 4 centimetres dialated. Her water had broken, and the hospital was apparantly able to handle the birth. Why were they sent away? If the Father of the child could handle the delivery in the back of their SUV, then why couldn't the hospital?

Makes me shake my head. Thankfully, the Mom, Dad and baby are doing fine.

A True Preggo Moment...

On Friday, Keith came up with a plan. Since our natural gas bill is always so high each month, and our Hydro bill is so low, he wanted to turn down the furnace and get more electric space heaters. Makes sense.

So, he calls me at work to go get a heater after work. No big deal. I went to London Drugs. No heaters. I went to Future Shop (where he saw the heater he wanted online), only 1 heater and it was $100 more than what he wanted. I went to Superstore, which was a mistake, because I can barely find dog food in that store, let alone a space heater.

After stopping at all these places and not finding what I needed, I was getting grouchy. I called Keith and told him that I was unsuccessful. He said to go to Walmart, because he was sure they had the ones he wanted there (his specifications were that it had to have a timer, and a remote control). My back was sore and I was having a lot of braxton-hicks contractions, so I decided to leave buying the heater until Saturday.

Saturday comes, and Walmart has the heater I want. I need to get gas as well, so I stop at Canadian Tire gas bar, since it was convenient. My poor Jeep is so horribly dirty, I decide to run it through their Touchless Car Wash since I was there. (Normally, I wash it in the bays, not take it through an automatic car wash, hence why it was so dirty - I've been lazy).

As I am waiting in the line up, I can read the directions for the car wash. Mind you, I have taken all my vehicles through an automatic car wash a time or two, so I am not new to them. I just haven't used this particular one before.

The directions state, "Place car in Park and leave the engine running."

And here comes my preggo moment.

My Jeep is a standard transmission. I DON'T HAVE A PARK. If I put it in first gear, I can't leave the engine running, otherwise I will stall it. Can I leave it in neutral? Where are the directions for standard transmissions?? I cannot be the only person with a standard transmission who has used this car wash before!!

I call Keith on my cell phone. I am panicking. He doesn't know what the magical answer is, because he always washes his truck by hand. And so begins my lecture on why I shouldn't take the Jeep through the car wash in the first place. "It will leak, it will be hard on the exterior, your car will be dirty again by the time you get home."

His best advice? "Get out and ask someone what to do." Oh yeah, that's going to happen.

I get off the phone with him, since we are moving forward in the line up. Just as I am ready to sue Canadian Tire for discrimination against standard transmissions, I notice the car in front of me doesn't get "pulled through", like all the other car washes I have used. He seems to drive forward, stop, and the car wash goes around him.

So, all this panicking, and there was no reason for it at all. My turn came, I drove in, stopped the car, put it in neutral, and left my foot on the brake. All was perfect.

Bah. I feel so stupid. Oh well, it was a learning experience. At least my Jeep is clean.

Islands in the Stream...

Yes, that's the code phrase for what it's like when I take a bath now. I swear by 40 weeks, water displacement is going to become a serious issue. 2 tablespoons of water in will equal a full tub once I get in there! haha

I am feeling so not sexy tonight - so I shaved my legs. It doesn't help that Keith has been calling me "Uncle Sal" all day. Okay, so I know I was not looking my best today, however, to say I resemble a MALE whose belly is hanging out (his description), doesn't help the whole self-esteem.

Although, I realized something very cool while shaving. It seems that the leg hair has stopped growing as quickly as it used it. Maybe this is just a little perk from Mother Nature who must know it's getting hard to be as agile with a razor as I once was. It's even harder when you can't see what you are shaving! haha

That being said, I still cut my legs 4 times. I don't know how sexy I can be with blood flowing down my calfs. Oh well, it will stop. Apparantly, you have 50% more blood during pregnancy, so I can probably afford to lose a few pints. I need to win the lottery so I can afford electrolysis. Really, it's in my best interests to do it, considering the amount of times I cut myself. Maybe medical would cover it if I gash myself enough times. LOL

I decided to hang up the "Eeyore PJ's" for something a bit nicer tonight. I found a nightie from my "fatter days" that still fits without showing my ass. Sure, I probably look like a purple Hippo, but at least its silky and doesn't have a cartoon donkey on the shirt. Keith says I look like "Uncle Sal when he does drag."

Why am I procreating with this man again?

IUGR - The Bad News

Overall, this pregnancy has been uneventful. 1 trip to the ER at 19 weeks for spotting, an extra trip to the Doctor's office for some swelling issues, and the usual complaints of pregnancy is really all that has occurred.

At my last regular appointment, everything was going fine. The babies heartrate was 136 (a little lower than it has been, which worried me some, but it is certainly within the normal range!), and the Doctor even said, "All looks good", while he was feeling up my ankles for swelling. My blood pressure was actually the lowest it ever has been in the Doctor's office!

As I was booking my next appointment for January 12, my Doctor came out and said to me, "Don't go anywhere, I need to talk to you."

Ut oh. That's never a good sign.

It turns out that my little baby Bean is really a little baby Bean. He said that he/she is in the lower 10 percentile for babies its gestational age. Not such good news. It's called IUGR, or Interuterine Growth Restriction. Baby is either growing too slowly, or has stopped growing alltogether. We will find out which one when I have my next ultrasound.

I asked what the worst-case scenario would be. He said, if the baby hasn't grown, I would be sent to an OBGYN and monitored with weekly ultrasounds, and lots of tests to make sure baby was functioning well. More than likely, I would be delivering early if it was determined that baby would grow faster outside my uterus. I am a bad baby incubator.

I absolutely lost it on Wednesday night. I cried more than I have ever cried in my life. I was inconsolable. I went over everything in my head that I could have done to cause this. What did I do wrong? I personally know of a girl (and I will still refer to her as a girl - no matter how old she is), who smoked all throughout her pregnancy, was addicted to crystal meth, and certainly had a far from good diet, yet her baby turned out absolutely fine. And mine isn't growing. Why?

Keith feels I eat like a bird (even though I am the size of a Hippo), so therefore, his fix to this situation is to make sure I eat HUGE meals all day long. I have been obsessively tracking my diet since Thursday morning to see where my shortfalls were. Everything I eat, I write down, with how much protein, carbs, and fibre are present. I am not even looking at calories, because I am sure they are through the roof. I don't care if I gain 30 lbs in the next 10 weeks. I just want baby to grow.

It's just so frustrating.

To continue my story, I am being sent for another ultrasound to determine whether baby is actually growing or not. After my Doctor's appointment, I went straight over to the Xray department. The instructions on my paper said to have another ultrasound 3-4 weeks after the original one, which was on Dec 15. They gave me an appointment for January 17th. That's 5 weeks from my original ultrasound.

I know waiting an extra week or two doesn't seem like it should be a big deal, but it is to me. I have just been told there is something wrong with my baby. I want answers, and I want to deal with it as soon as possible. If I wait until January 17 for the ultrasound, I won't see my Doctor until the 24th, and that puts me at 33 weeks pregnant. Then to transfer over to the specialist, etc. It's wasting time that could be used to helping my bean grow.

So, I called my Doctor's office on Thursday morning. I told the receptionist how scared I was as to the diagnosis and how frustrated I was with the longer wait between ultrasounds. I asked if there was anything she could do. She didn't sound positive about being able to wrangle an earlier date, however, she said she would talk to my Doctor.

Later that afternoon, I called back, and then she called me back. Turns out my Doctor agrees its too long to wait, and they booked me for an ultrasound this coming Friday (Jan 6). I have to travel to Quesnel to have it done (a 2 hour drive), but its worth it to me.

I am praying that baby Bean has grown, that he or she is healthy in my uterus, and that all of this was just a big scare.

We will find out soon enough. I have to go eat now. LOL

The Year I Become a Mommy...

How cool is that? Back when I found out I was pregnant, it was the summer. There was no sign of snow, of Christmas trees, or lights. I spent half of 2005 being pregnant, and now the year is gone!!

This is the first Mother's Day where I will be a Mom! And Keith will celebrate his first Father's Day as a Dad. He didn't know his father growing up, as he passed away when Keith was 1. So really, this will be his first time celebrating this day in his memory.

It's New Year's Day...it's also the 30 week milestone for me. 10 weeks to go until my due date. Although, there is now some question as to when baby will come, but I will put that in a seperate posting.

70 days to go
49 days until I am considered full-term

Wow.

We start our "real" prenatal classes this coming Tuesday evening.

I have to start thinking seriously about when I am going to start my maternity leave.

Am I ready for this? Are we ready for this?