Overall, this pregnancy has been uneventful. 1 trip to the ER at 19 weeks for spotting, an extra trip to the Doctor's office for some swelling issues, and the usual complaints of pregnancy is really all that has occurred.
At my last regular appointment, everything was going fine. The babies heartrate was 136 (a little lower than it has been, which worried me some, but it is certainly within the normal range!), and the Doctor even said, "All looks good", while he was feeling up my ankles for swelling. My blood pressure was actually the lowest it ever has been in the Doctor's office!
As I was booking my next appointment for January 12, my Doctor came out and said to me, "Don't go anywhere, I need to talk to you."
Ut oh. That's never a good sign.
It turns out that my little baby Bean is really a little baby Bean. He said that he/she is in the lower 10 percentile for babies its gestational age. Not such good news. It's called IUGR, or Interuterine Growth Restriction. Baby is either growing too slowly, or has stopped growing alltogether. We will find out which one when I have my next ultrasound.
I asked what the worst-case scenario would be. He said, if the baby hasn't grown, I would be sent to an OBGYN and monitored with weekly ultrasounds, and lots of tests to make sure baby was functioning well. More than likely, I would be delivering early if it was determined that baby would grow faster outside my uterus. I am a bad baby incubator.
I absolutely lost it on Wednesday night. I cried more than I have ever cried in my life. I was inconsolable. I went over everything in my head that I could have done to cause this. What did I do wrong? I personally know of a girl (and I will still refer to her as a girl - no matter how old she is), who smoked all throughout her pregnancy, was addicted to crystal meth, and certainly had a far from good diet, yet her baby turned out absolutely fine. And mine isn't growing. Why?
Keith feels I eat like a bird (even though I am the size of a Hippo), so therefore, his fix to this situation is to make sure I eat HUGE meals all day long. I have been obsessively tracking my diet since Thursday morning to see where my shortfalls were. Everything I eat, I write down, with how much protein, carbs, and fibre are present. I am not even looking at calories, because I am sure they are through the roof. I don't care if I gain 30 lbs in the next 10 weeks. I just want baby to grow.
It's just so frustrating.
To continue my story, I am being sent for another ultrasound to determine whether baby is actually growing or not. After my Doctor's appointment, I went straight over to the Xray department. The instructions on my paper said to have another ultrasound 3-4 weeks after the original one, which was on Dec 15. They gave me an appointment for January 17th. That's 5 weeks from my original ultrasound.
I know waiting an extra week or two doesn't seem like it should be a big deal, but it is to me. I have just been told there is something wrong with my baby. I want answers, and I want to deal with it as soon as possible. If I wait until January 17 for the ultrasound, I won't see my Doctor until the 24th, and that puts me at 33 weeks pregnant. Then to transfer over to the specialist, etc. It's wasting time that could be used to helping my bean grow.
So, I called my Doctor's office on Thursday morning. I told the receptionist how scared I was as to the diagnosis and how frustrated I was with the longer wait between ultrasounds. I asked if there was anything she could do. She didn't sound positive about being able to wrangle an earlier date, however, she said she would talk to my Doctor.
Later that afternoon, I called back, and then she called me back. Turns out my Doctor agrees its too long to wait, and they booked me for an ultrasound this coming Friday (Jan 6). I have to travel to Quesnel to have it done (a 2 hour drive), but its worth it to me.
I am praying that baby Bean has grown, that he or she is healthy in my uterus, and that all of this was just a big scare.
We will find out soon enough. I have to go eat now. LOL
2 comments:
I hope that your ultrasound on Friday is reassuring. Will be keeping you and your little one in my prayers!
Thank you so much Katrina :-)
I have seen so much growth in myself since 26 weeks (the ultrasound was at 27 weeks)that I can't imagine that it's all just extra fat...baby had to have grown some.
However, it's frustrating. I have no control over it. But that's a big part of pregnancy, isn't it? We lose control over our bodies. They continually change and it's up to us to adapt!
I am praying that Bean is okay, and that he or she was just being a little slow. Slow I can handle, stopped growing is what I am scared of.
Thanks again for your comments!! :-)
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