Well, luckily I didn't fall like Humpty Dumpty, but it was pretty close!
As I was getting out of the Jeep at work this morning, I realized how dangerous this situation is. I am a tall woman, 5'10" without shoes on. But the Jeep is quite tall, so I have to kind of jump down to get out of it. (If that's a funny thought, consider what I do to get my pregnant ass in to it in the first place!)
Yesterday, we were hit by some pretty nasty freezing rain. The roads were much better today, however, our parking lot at work was a skating rink. As I judged where I was going to put my feet upon my descent from the Jeep, I realized there was no good spot. So, I just went for it.
Bad choice.
So, I landed on my feet, but they wouldn't keep still. One started sliding out in front of me, the other behind me. I dropped my purse, banged my head on the open car door, and my arms were flailing to try to keep balanced.
I managed to regain my balance, rub my now-throbbing head, and contemplate how to pick up my purse without causing another flailing incident. I closed the car door, and very, very carefully bent over to grab my purse. All went well until I tried to get upright again. I was 80% there, when I looked over to the window, and saw one of my coworkers giggling at my predicament. So, determined not to give him anything else to giggle about, I stood up quickly, causing my feet to go in opposite directions again. Arghhhhh!
I finally make it into my office a few minutes later, and he says (while trying to muffle his laughter). "Guess we should put some sand down, hey?"
No, I think we should leave it so I can get my stretching exercises every morning. Freak.
To add to my suffering dignity today, I also got stuck behind a chair. Yes, you read that correctly. Behind a chair. It even had wheels.
We have this spare desk in our office where the casual girl sits when she is in. It's in a corner, with a small space to walk through between her desk and the photocopier. I needed something from the desk, so in I went. I had to move the chair slightly to get around to the drawers, and once I got what I needed, I realized I couldn't get out. There isn't enough room to push the chair out between the photocopier and the desk, and there wasn't enough room for me to get behind the chair with my belly. I am not sure how I actually got in there in the first place!
I started imagining being sprayed down with cooking oil, or other substances to be removed, or attempting to climb over the desk in a skirt, or the humility in admitting to my coworker that I was stuck. See, the problem with a pregnancy belly versus just a fat belly, is that when you try to suck in your gut, it doesn't go anywhere! Not a centimetre!
So, I finally stood on my tiptoes, tried to suck in what is impossible to suck in, and squeeze my way through. It's so tight of a fit, that the chair comes with me, and I can't bend over to keep the chair in place, because then I won't fit again.
I finally make it out, knocking the chair down with me, which bangs into the photocopier. Oh well, so much for a graceful exit. At least I managed to get out without being slathered with Crisco.
Oh, and I had a killer headache all day from knocking my noggin' on the car door. When I went into my purse, I realized that my Tylonel had fallen out of my purse when I dropped it. Hmm, killer headache versus sliding around on my ass on the icy pavement? I chose headache. Heck, I am not sure I would have attempted the parking lot even if I had dropped money on the ground!
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