My New Year's Celebrations...

Normally, Keith and I do nothing on New Year's. We may stay up to watch "the ball drop", or watch fireworks, but usually, I am asleep by 10 pm. Such a party animal, I know.

All week, Keith has been telling me that he is going to take me out to a dinner and a movie (and no, I didn't think that he meant he was going to turn on TBS) for New Year's. Whoa! An actual date night. This is almost unheard of, even though the two of us certainly don't have anything tying us to the house (yet! lol)

So, here we sit. It's almost 8 pm, and he hasn't even made a move to get out of his work clothes. I am guessing the movie is out.

We have movement! He has gotten off the couch, but has meandered to his computer.

I wonder if I should take some food out of the freezer.

The Best Laid Plans...

have gone awry yet again. Man oh Man!

I had all these plans on how I was going to spend my 4 days off work. I had visions of a clean house, a clean Jeep, so much sleep that I wouldn't feel tired anymore and even some visiting thrown in there.

I did clean a bit, as well as Christmas shop on Christmas Eve. But pretty much every moment of wakefulness that I have had in the past two days have been spent to determine whether Keith is still breathing or not. (Okay, a slight exaggeration)

The poor man has been so sick since Sunday night. I had no sleep on Sunday night as I was busy changing sheets, buckets, and trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with him.

Monday, he was still sick, and I was exhausted. Man, how am I going to handle a sick kid?

Tuesday, he is still sick, but at least able to get up on his own. Cuts down on the amount of stair climbing I have had to do today, however I have enough laundry to do now to keep me set well into the new year.

But I am spent. I haven't slept longer that 2 hours at one time in the last two days. I am utterly, bone-achingly tired. Ugh. And back to work tommorow. Double ugh. Thank goodness its a really short week!

I am off to try to make some supper that is somewhat nutritious, and hope that sleep comes easily for both of us tonight!

Cranky Christmas Dinner

I swear, baby Bean is sucking the happy genes out of my body. I hope this is the case, because, if he/she isn't, I am turning into a miserable bitch, or I am carrying the crankiest baby known to mankind.

It's not human to be this cranky! What the hell is wrong with me?

We went to Keith's Mom's to celebrate Christmas tonight. As soon as we got there, I wanted to leave. Why? I love these people. I think I just needed to be locked in a room by myself to be alone with my crankiness.

Stupid stuff kept pissing me off. It pissed me off that Keith's Mom, being 80, would not sit down and eat her meal, but instead would be the quintessential host. We should be serving her, not the other way around. There was no one in the room under the age of 20, so we are all perfectly capable.

I can't eat turkey, because I am allergic to it. And yes, it is an actual allergy, not because I simply don't like it. I love turkey. I miss turkey. The last time I accidentally injested some, I ended up in the ER for the day and missed an additional day of work.

I always feel bad because Keith's family always makes a fuss and makes sure there is some other meat product for me to eat. It makes me feel guilty that I have put them through additional work. It's not necessary. There is always too much to eat at a Christmas dinner.

Tonight, she had some leftover pork roast for me. I got Keith to microwave it for me, because it was taken from the fridge, and there was no room in the oven to reheat it. I would have microwaved it myself, however, I was seated in the back end of the table. Where I was stuck until the people on the end moved, so my belly could get by. Keith, unfortunately, microwaves it too long and it gets so tough that I can't get my knife through it at all. I quietly slide it over to Keith, who like Mikey from those Life commericals in the 70's and 80's, will eat anything.

I take a bunch of mashed potatoes which were nummy, and some brussell spouts. I am good. I am not really fussy, even with my food aversions. But I am asked a billion times if I want this or that. It's all right in front of me, if I wanted more, I would take more. But I learned a valuable lesson on Friday night. Do NOT, and I repeat NOT, overfill a pregnant belly. It just doesn't have good consequences! So, I eat very moderately to avoid another puking incident.

Dessert is served, and its usually so nummy. Blueberry pie. Oh YUM! I love Keith's Mom's pies. She has put some sort of drippy cream on it. I ask Keith quietly what it is, since it doesn't look like whipped cream (which I tolerate, but don't love). He shakes his head that he doesn't know, and I take a bite. It's evaporated milk. The stuff my parents used to use in their coffee. That one bite did it for me. I don't mean to sound ungrateful or bitchy, but why evaporated milk? I have NEVER heard of evaporated milk on pie as a treat!

She said later on that her Dream Whip had expired. Dream whip expires? How long has she had it? She then offered someone ice cream. Hmm, if you have a choice on what to put on pie, and it was between evaporated milk and ice cream, which would you choose?

Okay, my rant over the evaporated milk is over. It was a good meal overall, and I know I am just irrationally cranky over nothing. My hips certainly didn't need pie, so its a blessing overall (and considering I am about to be weighed on Wednesday at my doctors! LOL).

Keith's brother and sister-in-law sent us some receiving blankets, bibs and washclothes. They are so cute. We had a deal for no presents this year, but someone always breaks the rules! LOL

I have to say that I am happy I didn't eat very much. Keith, in all the years that I have known him, has never puked. He has been puking for the past hour and a half. When I went upstairs to check on him, he was all cold and clammy. Poor guy. :-( I hope its just a case that he ate too much. I've been there, it's not fun.

As for the gifts that Keith and I exchanged, neither of us paid attention to our own rule of nothing extravengent because of the impending birth. Keith bought me a beautiful 19" flat screen LCD monitor. It is soooo sweet! I bought him a breadmaker (he has wanted one for awhile, although I think he just wants someone to make bread for him! LOL), a personal DVD player (to keep him amused while I am in labor! LOL) and a Hotwash windshield washer heater for his truck. It's supposed to clear ice away in seconds so you don't have to scrape. We will see how that works!

Merry Christmas!

I hit 29 weeks exactly on Christmas. Gotta like milestones combining with holidays...makes things easier to remember.

76 days until my due date...
55 days until Baby Bean is considered full term...

I sit here amazed as I calculate the dates. As long as baby bean isn't late, in 11 weeks or less, I will be going to the hospital because I will be in labor.

In 11 weeks or less, I will be holding my newborn son or daughter, and finding out exactly who it was that has been kicking my belly and bladder for the past few months.

In 11 weeks or less, I will be a Mom. I will have realized a dream of mine. That is absolutely huge.

In 11 weeks or less, Keith will be a Daddy. Something he never thought he would be. I can't wait to see him interact with his child.

There is so much I look forward to. There is still so much I am scared of. But my excitement outweighs my fear today.

Christmas Eve

I will admit that I am not the best Christmas person. I don't go all out on decorating and baking. In a lot of ways, I feel it's just another day. I have spent a lot of Christmas's alone, and that has kind of soured me in a way.

The Christmas spirit did hit me today as I reflected on what I am thankful for this year, and what this year has brought to me.

Obviously, if you have read my blog to any length, I am thankful and feel so blessed that I am carrying a child (even through my complaints! LOL). After so many years of being told that it wasn't possible to carry past 20 weeks, that getting pregnant would be difficult, if not impossible, here I am. A moving, wonderful being growing in my belly. In a few short weeks, I will be a Mom. That makes me feel so blessed, even on the days that I don't think I can handle being pregnant for one more moment.

As I type, I catch a glimpse of the simple gold ring that sits on my left hand. It is my constant reminder of what I am thankful for.

I look over from my computer desk at Keith, who is napping on the tiny little loveseat. It can't possibly be comfortable, but yet there he lays, fast asleep. So sweet. I want to wake him up and tell him to move over to the other couch, but he looks so peaceful that I don't want to disturb him. As I look at him, all curled up, the amount of love I have for this man overwhelms me.

He has always been my biggest supporter, from the time that I met him until now. I know that I have not always been the easiest woman to love.

Two weeks after we started dating, I ended up in the hospital for 2 weeks because of a serious bout with depression. He could have walked away. He had no emotional investment, he barely knew me. Yet, he stayed. He phoned me every night in the hospital (I was out of town), and we spoke for hours. He ended up with this huge phone bill (because he had no long distance plan), but never complained. He was scared because he didn't understand what I was going through, but he still stayed and he learned about what depression does to a person. I was worth it in his eyes. There was something he saw in me that made it worth it. The fact that he did, that he stayed and persevered through some very dark times, always in my corner, and always supporting me, brings me to tears to this day.

From the day I have met him, there have never been any head games. He is honest, upfront, and doesn't hide how he feels. I have never caught him in a lie. I can trust him implicitly, which is a an amazing thing, as he is the first man that I have been able to trust completely.

He taught me what family is, and his family has expanded to include me almost instantly. From the very first Christmas when I was introduced, to now, they have always included me as if I just belonged, no questions asked. I tend to be uneasy in situations like this, because of past hurts, so it has taken me awhile to warm up to them. But with every phone call and visit, I know I am accepted, even if I still don't feel quite worthy of that acceptance.

He kills the spiders for me, no matter how small they are, or how fast asleep he was at the time that I discovered it. When I discovered a mouse in the kitchen, and freaked out, he became the "Mighty Rodent Hunter". He would get up early to make sure the trap was empty, so I wouldn't see a dead mouse, and he cooked dinner for a week when I was too scared to go into the kitchen. He made me realize that no matter how irrational my fear, he is there to help conquer them with me.

He makes me laugh, sometimes through my tears. When I am having a rough time, he will call me at work to make sure I am doing okay (usually with a funny voice to make me giggle when I answer the phone). We laugh, we have amazing discussions, and we can just be. There is no pressure to be anywhere, or do anything, because we are both completely content to be with each other, even if we don't even share a word. To me, that is what love is.

A simple gold ring. I don't remember it being this shiny before. It has sat on that finger for a year and yet it is just tonight that the full meaning of it hit me. It means that we are in this life together, through every part that is good, and the bad. Through the joys of just being the two of us, to the adventure that will happen when it becomes the three of us.

That is what I am thankful for this year.

What a crappy week

I am so happy this week is done. I was off work at noon today, and I don't have to return until next Wednesday thanks to the holidays.

Thank goodness.

I have been so bloody, irrationally, should-be-placed-in-a-rubber-room, hormonal this week. This is my worst PMS multiplied by a million. That's a scary thought, because I used to get wicked PMS back in the days of periods. Work stress was getting to me. I would get to work, and within 1/2 an hour of being there, I just wanted to cry. Sometimes, I did, but usually I made it through the day and cried when I got home.

I hate not being able to control my emotions. It's like not being able to trust your own gut instinct. I can't tell you whether I will be laughing or crying in 10 minutes. It's a happy time of year, a time to rejoice and to reflect on the wonderful things that have occurred and plan for the future. And all I can think about is how alone and miserable I feel. How scroogish of me.

I'm not alone. I have Keith, and my close circle of friends (if they will still talk to me after this week.) I have baby Bean that thumps my belly when I am trying to sleep. But you can put every one of my friends in the room and I would still feel alone.

I am just so freaking sensitive! All I want is a big hug and someone to reassure me that feeling this way won't last forever.

Hopefully, with some well-deserved sleep and relaxation over the next few days, I will be able to calm the hormones down a bit.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall...

Well, luckily I didn't fall like Humpty Dumpty, but it was pretty close!

As I was getting out of the Jeep at work this morning, I realized how dangerous this situation is. I am a tall woman, 5'10" without shoes on. But the Jeep is quite tall, so I have to kind of jump down to get out of it. (If that's a funny thought, consider what I do to get my pregnant ass in to it in the first place!)

Yesterday, we were hit by some pretty nasty freezing rain. The roads were much better today, however, our parking lot at work was a skating rink. As I judged where I was going to put my feet upon my descent from the Jeep, I realized there was no good spot. So, I just went for it.

Bad choice.

So, I landed on my feet, but they wouldn't keep still. One started sliding out in front of me, the other behind me. I dropped my purse, banged my head on the open car door, and my arms were flailing to try to keep balanced.

I managed to regain my balance, rub my now-throbbing head, and contemplate how to pick up my purse without causing another flailing incident. I closed the car door, and very, very carefully bent over to grab my purse. All went well until I tried to get upright again. I was 80% there, when I looked over to the window, and saw one of my coworkers giggling at my predicament. So, determined not to give him anything else to giggle about, I stood up quickly, causing my feet to go in opposite directions again. Arghhhhh!

I finally make it into my office a few minutes later, and he says (while trying to muffle his laughter). "Guess we should put some sand down, hey?"

No, I think we should leave it so I can get my stretching exercises every morning. Freak.

To add to my suffering dignity today, I also got stuck behind a chair. Yes, you read that correctly. Behind a chair. It even had wheels.

We have this spare desk in our office where the casual girl sits when she is in. It's in a corner, with a small space to walk through between her desk and the photocopier. I needed something from the desk, so in I went. I had to move the chair slightly to get around to the drawers, and once I got what I needed, I realized I couldn't get out. There isn't enough room to push the chair out between the photocopier and the desk, and there wasn't enough room for me to get behind the chair with my belly. I am not sure how I actually got in there in the first place!

I started imagining being sprayed down with cooking oil, or other substances to be removed, or attempting to climb over the desk in a skirt, or the humility in admitting to my coworker that I was stuck. See, the problem with a pregnancy belly versus just a fat belly, is that when you try to suck in your gut, it doesn't go anywhere! Not a centimetre!

So, I finally stood on my tiptoes, tried to suck in what is impossible to suck in, and squeeze my way through. It's so tight of a fit, that the chair comes with me, and I can't bend over to keep the chair in place, because then I won't fit again.

I finally make it out, knocking the chair down with me, which bangs into the photocopier. Oh well, so much for a graceful exit. At least I managed to get out without being slathered with Crisco.

Oh, and I had a killer headache all day from knocking my noggin' on the car door. When I went into my purse, I realized that my Tylonel had fallen out of my purse when I dropped it. Hmm, killer headache versus sliding around on my ass on the icy pavement? I chose headache. Heck, I am not sure I would have attempted the parking lot even if I had dropped money on the ground!

And Leon's Getting Larger!

This morning, as miserable as I was, I did have to laugh.

As I put on my pants and looked in the mirror at my ever-expanding belly, I was reminded of a part of one of my favorite movies, Airplane. (Come on, someone else has to remember this movie - it's freaking hilarious!).

When they are about to go to the tower, or they are deciding to go to the tower, someone says, "The fog is getting thicker." And then the skinny, balding guy who cracks me up, jumps into the scene (literally), puts his hands around Leon's belly and shakes it, while saying, "And Leon's getting larrrrrrrrrggggger."

Oh, I laughed when I thought of that. Probably because as each day goes by, I am starting to resemble Humpty Dumpty more and more. Maybe I should watch out for a skinny balding man to jump in beside me to shake my belly! LOL

No Sleep...

If I am lucky, I managed to get about 4 hours sleep last night. Yuck. Now I have a headache, my stomach hurts and my teeth ache because I was grinding them in my sleep last night. I must have been stressed, as that's the only time I grind my teeth.

I don't know why I couldn't sleep, I guess too much on my mind. I couldn't shut off the brain. It should be an interesting day at work with this lack of sleep. Maybe its natures way of preparing me for the 2 am feedings coming up? LOL

Although, two funny things happened last night in bed.

Shortly after falling asleep, I woke up to a very stern Keith saying, "Lay down!!!"
I replied, quite drowsily, "I am."
Keith, "Not you, I am talking to the dog."
I replied, "The dog is outside, how's he supposed to hear you from here?"
Then I opened my eyes and saw that Keith was in front of the window he had opened. The dog had been barking. Whoops.

The second event was Keith being the funny one. I had to get up around 1 am to go to the washroom. I tried to get back into bed without waking him.
Keith: "What's wrong?"
Me: "Nothing, I just had to pee, go back to sleep."
Keith: "In the bed? Ewww"
Me: "No, in the toilet. Freak."
And Keith giggles thinking he's the funniest guy ever. He, of course, is asleep and snoring in less than 30 seconds from this conversation. Damn men.

It's Official...I hate Mondays :-(

They were never one of my favorite days to begin with.

I have never been a morning person, but even when I do wake up early on my own, I never feel like I do on Monday mornings. I love waking up on the weekends, and just rolling over and feeling warm and comfy, with no pressure. It's the lazy, I-don't-really-have-to-get-up-if-I-don't-want-to feeling.

When reality comes crashing back in on Monday morning, and the alarm bangs me out of a deep sleep, robot mode occurs. I usually try to delay reality by hitting snooze once or twice (sometimes up to four times LOL), but eventually, I have to get up. Half-asleep, I stumble to the washroom, go pee, and turn on the shower. It's only about halfway through the shower that I start to feel even somewhat awake. I go downstairs and get a drink, log onto my computer and check the email to see if there is anything there besides someone offering me cheap drugs, or a bigger penis.

Lately, I have found that Mondays are getting harder and harder to get motivated for. I will come downstairs and hope there is some reason I can't go into work that day. A flood? A huge snowstorm that prevents any outside travel? I am sick? *cough cough*. But, regardless of how I don't want to go to work, 7:30 comes and I go.

Why Mondays? The rest of the week, although not without complaint, are not nearly as hard to get motivated for. The issue with Monday is that it is the busiest day of the week for me at work, and although it goes by fast, it is utterly and completely exhausting. Especially lately. I find by the time I leave at the end of the day, I am spent.

The last two Monday's, I have cried on the way home because I am just overwhelmed. I know I can blame it on hormones, and my lessened ability to deal with stress lately, but I don't know how I can keep doing this. I even tried delegating some of the workload today, in hopes that it would help, but still there was too much to do, too little time to do it in, and way too many phone calls and other interruptions to stay focused on one task for more than a few minutes at a time.

At least with Christmas coming, I get to skip a Monday next week!

Cravings

I thought I had escaped the stereotypical pregnancy cravings. I definitely had food aversions, but not cravings per se. I have driven Keith absolutely mental by saying "Oh, I think I want this", then I will cook it, serve it, and barely touch it because it doesn't seem appetizing anymore.

For the last two days, I have craved nothing but Mandarin Oranges. Since they are so prevelent this time of year, it's a pretty easy craving to fulfill. And outside of the fact that all of the nutritional content of the Mandarin Orange comes from sugars, it is a fairly decent thing nutritionally to crave. Okay, maybe that's just my justification for eating 3 of them.

Good thing tommorow is payday, I am stocking up!! LOL Hope I don't get the craving in February, when they are impossible to find!

Real TV...

I am not actually referring to "reality TV shows", like Survivor, or Amazing Race or even my addictive American Idol.

I am talking about TLC. The Learning Channel.

It is usually one of my favorites, as it carries "A Baby Story". Gee, wonder why I like it so much? Because I am pregnancy-obsessed to the point that I cannot carry on a conversation without mentioning what is happening in my belly? It's a possibility.

A funny thing happened a few months ago. Keith and I were talking about baby-to-be, and he said (and I cannot even begin to make this shit up), "Wouldn't it be cool if our kid was born with two heads or something? Then it would be famous!" We laughed, since that's just Keith's sense of humor. He doesn't actually want a child with two heads. At least I hope he doesn't. This is the man that will help mold our future child.

A few months later, and we are watching TLC. I can't remember what program was on, because what happened next is what sticks in my memory. As the show goes to commercial, a promo for the next program comes on. What is it, you ask? "Next on TLC...Born With Two Heads."

I look at Keith and said, "You paid them to put that promo on, right?"
Keith replied, "No, but now our baby has to have three heads to compete."

So, we watched the program on the poor little baby born with two heads. One real head and another alien head that was attached to the top of her skull. Just a head and a little bit of the torso. The Mom had ultrasounds throughout her pregnancy, and they never noticed that this extra head was there? Granted, she already had twins in there, not counting the alien head (would that make it triplets technically? It did have it's own brain) so maybe it was just hidden by the other twin. I don't know. All I know is that it gave me nightmares that night on what was growing in my own belly.

Don't get me wrong, I love these shows if solely for the educational aspect of them. I learn about all sorts of new things that can go wrong with a person. Somtimes, its just a bit disturbing. But it sure puts my daily aches and pains into perspective!

For example, some of the other shows I have seen:

The Boy Whose Skin Fell Off

Born Without a Face

The 750 pound Man

Or the most recent one, that I was watching when Keith came home from work one night...

Archie, The 84 Pound Baby

(Since I had missed the beginning of the program, I had dreams that night of having an 84 lb baby at birth. Physically impossible, but in dreams, anything is possible! LOL)

Crazy stuff, I tell you. I think I should stick to Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy until after the birth! LOL

28 Weeks! 84 days to go!

Well, here I am. Definitely in the Third Trimester! (Depending on the site you go to, Dr. you visit, or book you read, every one of them will tell you a different start week for the trimesters!) Now, it's official according to all sources...third trimester.

84 days until my due date.

Wow, I remember when it was in the 200's, it certainly didn't seem like that long ago!

I am a bit cranky today, as I woke up itchy. My rash has expanded to my arms and shoulders, which itch the most at the moment. It is bringing up memories of my childhood Chicken Pox illness!

I may not have any skin left by the time I deliver, as when I looked in the mirror this morning, there was scratch marks on my abdomen! Stupid rash.

I am hoping the remaining time goes by as quickly as the second trimester did. I am enjoying the thought of being pregnant, but as I have said in previous posts, the physical aspect of it is draining now. I am tired constantly. I slept from 10 pm till 8 am this morning, and I am still tired! (And I had a 4 hour nap yesterday on the couch!!) My iron levels are good, I am exercising moderately, I just have NO energy!

My house is a disaster area. It should be condemned. It might be easier to move. haha. Leave everything behind and start over! I don't think Keith would go for that...damn. Well, the house is my focus today, so hopefully I can plug away at it and get it looking better.

Online Moms-to-Be

I don't know what I would do without the internet! Isn't that terrible? There was a time that I didn't even own a computer, and I lived a full life. Sometimes, I think, I spend too much time researching stuff, posting on boards, etc, but I do enjoy it.

I love the one board I visit often. We are all due in March pretty much, so although we all have different situations, home life, etc, we still have that in common. We are all going through this together. So, no matter what I post about, someone has either dealt with it, is dealing with it, or at least offers support to deal with it. It is a great community!

Usually every few days, I go to another bigger site to check out the postings. They have due date clubs, and I like the check out the progress of the December, January, and February due dates. Reading birth stories, seeing the newborn photos, and hearing about pre-labor etc. Well, wouldn't you know it? In March due dates, the first baby has been born already!!

ACK!!

The Mom was 28 weeks 4 days along. That's 3 days ahead of where I am right now.

ACK!!

Baby is in the NICU, but doing well for being so small. I saw pictures of her online today and what a tiny, precious little baby.

It's so scary to think that I could deliver now! I admit, at times, I am a little tired of being pregnant because of the effects on my body. The PUPPPS (rash), the backaches, the weight gain (even though I am still smaller now than I was at my biggest pre-pregnancy), being unable to control my emotions, etc. However, I want what is best for baby bean, and that's to cook a lil while longer!

The Mom on the boards had pre-eclampsia, so it was that complication that caused the early birth. Pre-Eclampsia is a scary thing, and something I am on the watch for since I was overweight before the pregnancy, and have high-blood pressure. It can sneak up so suddenly on you, (like this Mom on the boards) without a lot of warning signs. Scary, scary, scary!

Baby bean has decided to start kicking my bladder...good morning Bean!

Third Trimester!! Woohoooo!

I was extremely excited to hit the third trimester this past week. It means that I am in the home stretch! Bean will be here soon!

One of the sites I post at has this listed on my front page...

Due Date: 03/12/2006
Week: 27+6 days
Month: 7
Trimester: 3
Fetus Age: 26 weeks

I have been a bit hormonal still...poor Keith. But he is such an amazing man. We rarely argue, and when we do, it's usually over such stupid stuff that we end up laughing about it. And I know I can be utterly unreasonable at times lately.

I was so sick yesterday after eating some pizza for lunch (this is the second pizza-related sickness attack, you would think that I could learn from these experiences!) so I made it through the rest of my workday praying not to puke, and came home. I felt better around 9 pm last night after lots of gingerale and praying to the Gods that my stomach would calm down.

Baby bean was incredibly active last night. I LOVE that. I love feeling the kicks, and I love that bean is big enough now to actually move my belly when he/she kicks! Last night, when I was in the bath, bean was moving around, and you could see where he/she was. My belly went from being its regular shape to being larger on one side, and then to the other side.

Keith was able to see my belly move when bean kicked, so its definitely not in my head!! Bean did a funky thing when he wasn't watching, though. I am not sure if he/she was turning around or what, as it didn't feel like a kick, but my belly moved one one side, then the other, then the original side, and back again really, really quickly. To view it from the outside, it almost looked like waves! LOL It was very cool to see! My belly is a big source of entertainment for me lately! LOL

When I went to bed last night, Keith came up with me, and we laid there and talked. Bean was moving around, and Keith felt a big kick. He said, "You did that!" and I replied, "Nope, that was all baby!" It's all such a new experience for both of us, and outside of my itchy, hormonal moments, I am enjoying it completely!

40 Week Surprise...

We had what should be our final ultrasound (unless there are problems) on Thursday. I took the morning off work, which worked sooooo much better for me than the last time.

It helps not to have to hear people flushing toilets constantly when you are desperately trying not to pee yourself because your bladder is so full! haha

Baby bean looks good, and I still tear up when I see the little heart beating away on the screen. It looks so beautiful. Bean was still in a bad-ish position, but once I was allowed to pee and was told to "poke baby a bit", he/she did turn around so the technician could get the measurements she was missing from last time.

But, bean is still stubborn. When the technician went to look at the kidneys, I said, "If you happen to see any genitals, let me know". Well, baby bean decided to have its hands down there at the time! Although, we won't know for sure until we deliver, that tells me its a boy! LOL (Since they have more to play with down there at this time! haha)

So, 40 week surprise it is! No early hints for a very impatient Mom!

Christmas Wishes

I usually don't like Christmas time. I tend to get depressed at that time, and my family has some fairly interesting issues that makes Christmas a time of TOO MUCH reflection.

This Christmas is probably no exception to the rule, except for the fact that I have something to keep my mind occupied this year, and to plan for. I do love to plan.

Keith keeps asking me what I would like for Christmas, and I keep saying "Nothing, save the money because baby is coming." We certainly aren't rich, and I would like to spend what extra we have on preparing for baby.

When I reflect on what I would actually like for Christmas, I can't come up with anything that is for myself. Obviously, my main wish would be for my baby to be born healthy in March. But that's nothing a Christmas wish can provide.

I guess there is always the ongoing clothing issue. As I get bigger, I am lacking in clothes. I don't want to buy too much because it won't fit for long, so I am trying to make due with my "fat clothes" and the few things I have picked up. However, Keith never thinks I have a LACK of clothing! haha

But other than that, everything else is baby related. There is so much we still don't have, and it worries me some. I know I still have time, but I am not comfy unless I am worrying LOL I have been buying clothing, have been given quite a lot of stuff, but the list never seems to end. I still need bedding (Oh they have the cutest Winnie the Pooh bedding set at Walmart, but its more expensive than the other sets, and face it, I am cheap LOL), receiving blankets, diaper pail, bedding for the bassinette, breast pump, bottles, first aid kit, sheet savers, diapers, and on and on and on.

I need to win the lottery! LOL

26 Weeks - Happy Moment :-)

26 weeks, 14 weeks to go!

On Friday at work, one of my casual coworkers said to me, "Oh, you are looking so pregnant."
To me, this was a compliment, because really, I just look like I swallowed a watermelon (I am carrying high, rather than having the basketball belly).

On Saturday, I got a belly rub from a good friend. That made me happy. It's the recognition, the acceptance, and the acknowledgement that it's there that makes me so happy. I can't really explain it any better than that.

I love belly rubs! LOL I wish they would happen more often! I may regret saying that if strangers start rubbing my belly unexpectedly, but when its someone I care about, I melt :-) What can I say? I have all these hormones running through my system! LOL

25 weeks 5 days - 99 days to go!

Since my rash has expanded and I am itchy all over now, I am feeling a bit miserable at times over the pregnancy. Don't get me wrong, I still love being pregnant, but I am feeling a bit annoyed at the constant (and I mean constant) itching.

Because today marked the day that I had 99 days left in my pregnancy, I figured I would change the words of "99 Bottles of Beer" to something a little more appropriate...

99 days till my baby is born
99 days to go
Itching, stinging bumps on my belly
99 days till my baby is born

98 days till my baby is born
98 days to go
Grab the Goldbond and slather it on
98 days till my baby is born

97 days till my baby is born
97 days to go
Toss some Oatmeal into the bath
97 days till my baby is born

96 days till my baby is born
96 days to go
Clumsy, falling, can't bend over
96 days till my baby is born

95 days till my baby is born
95 days to go
Bean is kicking, makes me happy
95 days till my baby is born

94 days till my baby is born
94 days to go
I look like a sumo-wrestler
94 days till my baby is born

93 days till my baby is born
93 days to go
Keith still says that I am beautiful
93 days till my baby is born

92 days till my baby is born
92 days to go
I think Keith needs some glasses
92 days till my baby is born

91 days till my baby is born
91 days to go
The bathroom is my friend and enemy
91 days till my baby is born

90 days till my baby is born
90 days to go
Heartburn keeps me from being lonely at night
90 days till my baby is born

89 days till my baby is born
89 days to go
I want to know where my feet went
89 days till my baby is born

88 days till my baby is born
88 days to go
I'm so tired even though I've slept
88 days till my baby is born

87 days till my baby is born
87 days to go
My belly is hard and that's kinda cool
87 days till my baby is born

86 days till my baby is born
86 days to go
I gagged on my prenatal vitamin
86 days till my baby is born

85 days till my baby is born
85 days to go
I really want a Lime Margarita
85 days till my baby is born

84 days till my baby is born
84 days to go
Who put the bathroom upstairs?
84 days till my baby is born

83 days till my baby is born
83 days to go
I can't get up without shooting pains
83 days till my baby is born

82 days till my baby is born
82 days to go
A healthy baby makes this all worthwhile
82 days till my baby is born


To be continued... LOL Feel sorry for my baby, his or her Mom-to-be is a nerd!

25 weeks - A perfect morning :-)

25 Weeks - 15 weeks to go!

I haven't been sleeping the greatest lately. I have been up to go pee, ate something that didn't hit me right and had a middle of the night sickness episode, and heartburn has set in whenever I lay down.

On Saturday night, I fell asleep early on the couch. I woke up, went pee, and climbed into bed. It was around 5 am. I slept till 11 AM. It was SOOOOOOOO nice to sleep in again. I finally felt rested.

Baby bean started thumping away in my belly, so I just rolled over, and looked outside at the snow covered trees. I laid there for over half an hour just feeling baby kick and feeling so utterly peaceful. It was a beautiful moment and a memory I don't want to forget. I have never felt so completely at ease and happy.

24 weeks

24 Weeks, 16 weeks to go!

Well, I think I have hit middle ground in my pregnancy. I am starting to look pregnant to people, although I think most people won't say anything for fear I am not (Don't blame them, really)

The only new symptom I have is an annoying rash apparantly called PUPPPS. Cute name. Annoying virus. Apparantly only hits 2% of pregnant women. Figures that I would get it. Basically, it started as two little itchy red spots on my abdomen this week, will see how it progresses. The only cure is to give birth (although there are some measures I have read about to help relieve the itching) until then. It's not too bad right now, but if it spreads, I might get pretty cranky.

I am still pretty tired, occasionally hormonal, but overall so happy and content to be pregnant right now. I had a hormonal moment after my first prenatal class. I think it all sunk in to me that I will be having a baby. Apparantly, I am a slow learner LOL!

I have been addicted to Old-Wives Tales to try to figure out what the gender is of baby bean. The very first quiz I did told me I had a 50% chance of having either (at 12 weeks). Wow, thanks for the insight!

As my pregnancy progresses, I have gotten more "you are expecting a girl" than boy results. I don't really care about which gender it is, but I am impatient! I want to know!!! I am a planner at heart.

23 Weeks

23 Weeks, 17 to go!

For the past three weeks, I have been trying to get Keith to feel the baby when it kicks. So far, he has been unable to, even when baby's been kicking hard. I can feel the kicks from outside, so I was getting frustrated over why he couldn't!! Either baby would move, or stop kicking whenever he would put his hand on my belly. GRRRR

Finally, on Friday night, we were lying on the couch together watching TV. This is a feat that won't be accomplished for much longer, even though he is quite slim, my belly and ass were falling off the couch! LOL I had just eaten about 1/2 an hour before, so I knew baby would be making some movements fairly soon.

Sure enough, baby started kicking. It was low at first, so I didn't say anything to Keith. His hand was on my right side of my belly. Then Bean started kicking where his hand was. I didn't say anything. About three kicks in, Keith says, "I think I felt something there." I agreed as baby had just kicked where his hand lay. Three more times he was able to feel it, and without me telling him when bean was kicking. He was amazed!

Big Ultrasound! 22 weeks 3 days

Well, it finally arrived. The big ultrasound to make sure Baby Bean is doing good. Keith says that Baby Bean has the same snout as our dog does. (Yes, I smack him for that comment).

Bean was most uncooperative for the ultrasound. Was curled up, butt up against my very achingly full bladder with its feet by its head.

All measurements are good, but I have to have another ultrasound on Dec 15, 2005 to do one last measurement that Bean's position prevented. No sign of cleft palate, spina bifida or any problems. I am hoping to get another profile shot at my next ultrasound, and maybe, if Bean is cooperating, find out the sex!

My vent of the day is whoever came up with the idea that a pregnant woman needs to drink 32 ounces of water an hour and a half before the ultrasound and NOT PEE. This is hard enough to do with a regular bladder, let alone a bladder that's being kicked by legs and arms. When I left work, I didn't think I could make it. I lifted my leg to climb into my Jeep and thought, "OMG I am going to pee myself right here." It HURT.

My second vent is the fact that that my bladder was too full and the technician, as nice as she was to let me pee at all, gave me this tiny coffee cup to fill and then STOP. Although peeing at that point was almost orgasmic, trying to stop mid-flow was almost impossible.

All those who haven't had the pleasure of trying to accomplish this feat, try it. It's hard. Wait till you have to pee REALLY badly, then halfway through, force yourself to stop. Then, go climb up on a table and let someone poke your bladder hard a few times. You'll get the picture.

Overall, the ultrasound was amazing. I LOVED seeing Bean on the "big screen". Keith was so cute at the ultrasound, and was very supportive in the waiting room when I was whining that I was going to pee myself. He always thinks its slightly freaky that I can be calm when I have something growing inside me, but he's cute that way. LOL

One side note: He did ask me later on that evening how I managed to stop peeing halfway through. Apparantly, he tried to do it and couldn't. I said, "You squeeze every muscle you have, and a few you don't, and pray it stops." He just laughed and said, "Good thing I don't have to do it."

20 Week Mark & my Birthday!

20 Weeks, 20 weeks to go!!

I find it an exciting milestone in this pregnancy that I hit the halfway point right on my birthday. I am feeling Baby Bean kick more often in the past few days, although its usually only once a day.

Love, love, LOVE being pregnant right now! I am so excited!

19 weeks 3 days - Real Kicks!!

Outside of the ongoing fatigue, moodiness and the bleeding scare on Sunday, I have to say I am enjoying the second trimester more than the first. No more all-day nausea!!! Woohooo!!

I have seen the baby, felt flutters, and am getting a bit of a baby belly now. Although only I can tell the changes so far, everyone else probably figures I just put on a few pounds!! (Since I was big to begin with). It just feels so much more real to me, and it excites me! :-)

19 weeks 3 days, I was laying on the couch watching ER with Keith. He was half falling asleep when I started laughing. He asked, "What did I miss?" thinking that there was something funny on TV. I said, "Nothing, but baby bean is kicking me in the butt."

And there it was, my first real kicks. About 5 times in a row, Baby Bean kicked my butt. It was a weird feeling, didn't hurt, but was slightly uncomfortable, like he/she was kicking a nerve or something. The uncomfortableness didn't bother me at all, I was so excited to feel the kicks in the first place!

19 Weeks - Houston, We Have A Problem.

19 weeks, 21 weeks to go!

I woke up the Sunday morning that I was 19 weeks pregnant feeling fine. Keith and I had some running around to do that day, including picking up some baby stuff from a friend, and hitting Staples for some ink for the printer.

Around 11 am, I began having some cramps. I had been peeing like a mad-woman all morning, and hadn't noticed anything different, but the cramping was new. I went to the washroom thinking that I had to do #2 (sorry, TMI). Once there, I tried to go, and nothing. So I went pee, wiped, and on the toilet paper was blood. There was more when I wiped again.

I hadn't had any bleeding since my first trimester, so this freaked me out. I was instantly in tears. I yelled downstairs that we had to go to the ER because I was bleeding. Keith came running upstairs, and says "Where are you bleeding?" thinking I had cut myself or something. When he saw that I was crying, he just helped me get dressed and we left for the ER.

The whole trip to the ER, I was bawling (it's only a 10 minute drive). I kept thinking the worst. If baby bean was born now, it wouldn't survive. My cramping was bad, and I just thought this was it. The cruel joke that I could actually have a baby has come to the punchline. Keith kept trying to make me laugh in the car, but I just cried harder.

When we got to the ER, I had calmed down a bit. The nurses asked several times if I was sure that I was 19 weeks pregnant. If you are 20 weeks, you get sent up to Labor and Delivery, anything before that and they see you in the ER. I was as sure as my Doctors were, and that's what I told them.

They got me a room, which was the same room I had been in before on my last ER trip. We waited for about an hour before a nurse came to make me pee in a cup, and to hook up an IV. Keith surprised me. He can't STAND hospitals, he doesn't like needles, but he stayed in the room, reading this magazine about Diabetes over and over.

The Doctor came in an hour later and we went over everything that had happened. He said he would be back with a portable ultrasound, and that he was going to get the nurse to draw blood. Another nurse came in with a Doppler and we were able to hear the heartbeat, and the heartrate was 144 BPM. Good sign. That relieved me.

They took blood, and we waited. We started using the flow meter on the IV as a clock to gauge how long we had been there. We started making bets as to what level it would be before someone else came in. I won.

The Doctor came back in with the ultrasound. He did a pelvic exam (which Keith stuck around for) and told me that my cervix was closed. GREAT RELIEF. He brought over the ultrasound, and both Keith and I saw baby bean huddled in my belly. It was moving its arm around, and I asked the Doctor if there were two arms, because I could only make out one (The screen is so tiny). He laughed and said yes there were two.

He told me my bleeding was probably cervical, but treated me very well. He booked me for a real ultrasound and said that if the bleeding got worse, to come back. He assured me that baby and me had passed the three tests they do. Heartrate, closed cervix and movement on ultrasound.

6 hours in the ER was worth that piece of mind.

18 Weeks - The New Doctor & Birth Plan

18 Weeks, 22 to go!

Well, the new Doctor is nice. He speaks low and with an English accent so he's a bit hard to understand, but he seems knowledgeable.

We went over my history, family history, and any problems I have had. It was a comprehensive appointment.

He asked about my birth plan. I have read about birth plans, and the importance of writing down your wishes, but I am not fussy. I have never done this before, so I have NO idea what to expect. If I was having another child, I would consider this my "practise" run, and would have more knowledge of what I wanted for next time. But as I will be having a hysterectomy 6 months post-partum, that will not be the case.

So basically, my birth plan is this. I go into labor. I go to the hospital. They give me a bed. They give me drugs if I need them, and not give me grief about it (I do want to try for a natural birth, but if I can't take the pain, I EXPECT DRUGS). Baby Bean is monitored and if things don't progress, then cut me open. I have no problems with having a C-section. I won't consider it a failure. Sure, it would be nice to have a nice natural birth, with no tearing or cutting involved, but I am quite open to the fact that I may not have that. As long as Baby Bean comes out healthy, that is my ONLY concern.

So, I tell my new Doctor that I don't have any specific birth plans. I might later on after my prenatal classes, but for now, I just want to go to the hospital and deliver. He gives me a strange look and we move on. I think he's not sharing something.

I got to hear Bean's heartbeat again and actually was able to ask what the heartrate was (152 BPM). Woohoooo, go little bean! It still shocks me how fast their heartrates are compared to ours.

Dreams

There are some things they never tell you about being pregnant. You have to talk to other pregnant women to find these things out. Dreams are a big one of the hidden secrets. There are two types of dreams that I have had since becoming pregnant. One is the hormonal sex dreams that I am not going to publish for the world to see (ohhh, that's why I like to sleep so much now! hahaha) and the other is the dreams about baby-to-be.

One of my best friends (who is pregnant right along with me) told me that with her last child, she dreamed she gave birth to a litter of kittens. LOL Now that would freak me out!

Since having a baby is a HUGE deal to the woman involved, of course the feelings will spill over to her dreams. It's logical.

Since becoming pregnant, I have had a few hilarious baby dreams that I thought I would write down. These all can be blamed on feelings of inadequacy and fears that I won't be a good mother.

My very first baby dream (first trimester):
I had my baby, and it was a girl. We had to go somewhere, but I didn't have a car seat in my Jeep. So, my swaddled little baby was placed on the floor of the passenger side of the car. This seemed perfectly normal to do. *shakes head*. So, as I drove around town, my poor baby girl would roll from side to side (since she was swaddled, nothing was stopping her movements) like a can of Spaghetti-O's that had slipped out from a grocery bag. In my defence, I did check on her several times, but continued driving.

This dream cracks me up still to this day. Good thing the hospital doesn't allow you to take baby home without a car seat! hahaha

My Second Baby Dream: This one occured right after the first one. I was trying to get the baby to breastfeed, but she wasn't cooperating. Over and over I tried to get her to latch on, but she wouldn't. Finally, she looks at me and says, "You can't force me to do this, you know."

Wow, a newborn that talks! I might make the Enquirer after all! haha

My Third Baby Dream: This one was recent (middle to late second trimester). I was driving a blue Suburban. This in itself is funny, because as my friends and loved ones know, I will not drive a blue vehicle for fear of impending death. My newborn baby girl was in a car seat in the back seat. (Apparantly, I learned from my first dream). I stopped at this Spanish-style house and went inside. I LEFT THE BABY IN THE CAR. As I was visiting inside, my partner Keith came up to me and asked how the baby was. I replied that I was just about to go check on her.

I go outside to the Suburban, and in the back seat, there was my baby, who was now a toddler. She didn't say anything to me (probably because she didn't know who I was, since I left her in a car for her entire infancy), but reached out these chubby little arms to me. She had this curly brown hair and these amazing green eyes. She was beautiful. It was a happy ending anyhow!


I keep dreaming that my baby is a girl. This means nothing in the grand scheme of things, I will be happy with a boy or a girl. I am hoping to find out before bean is born what the sex is, but it may be a 40 week surprise!

17 Weeks - Flutters

17 Weeks - 23 More to go!

I can say for sure that I am feeling flutters now. Baby bean is making himself/herself known. They aren't kicks for sure, but they feel like tiny tickles from inside the belly. They make me giggle still.

Oooh, I am beginning to love being pregnant!!!!

I was informed that I have to change doctors for the remainder of my pregnancy, as my doctor doesn't deliver babies anymore.

A doctor who doesn't deliver babies? That idea seems foreign to me. As long as the new Doctor is nice and knows how to catch the baby, who am I to complain? So, I have an appointment with him at 7:30 am next Thursday. Ouch. Mornings suck.

16 Weeks - Baby Bean

16 weeks was a wonderful time!

I heard the heartbeat. The most beautiful sound I have ever heard. To me it sounded like a whooshing/thumping noise. But it proved that the baby inside me was indeed alive. I wanted to steal the Doppler and take it home with me.

I no longer refer to baby as "alien". He or she is my baby bean. I don't know why I refered to baby as alien in the first place, it seems so mean. Maybe I was scared to bond with it because of the chances of miscarriage. But I have bonded. Baby bean and I are in this together. (Of course my partner is involved too, but he doesn't have something growing in his belly! LOL)

In retrospect, I will say that I first felt movement at 16 weeks as well. Most people will say, "No, that's too early". But as I was sitting on the back steps at my work one day, I was hunched over in a bad position, and I felt a thunk come from within. It was just that one time, but it was noticeable!

The "So-Called" Honeymoon Trimester

At 14 weeks, I did have a reduction of my morning sickness. I will admit to that. I was feeling better and could stomach food again. However, the scent of the pickled egg container being opened in the fridge could turn my stomach faster than the thought of eating liver and onions.

My partner loves pickled eggs. He's sick, I know. In fact, I would say 50% of his diet is comprised of vinegar. No wonder he looks younger than his 41 years. His insides are pickled! But, I digress.

Anyhow, so my morning sickness is better, however, I am still waiting for the return of having some semblence of energy. Sure, they say that fatigue is a common complaint among pregnant women. They don't say that you will be so tired that putting on socks requires a nap!

So, I am exhausted all the time, hormones are setting in and making me irritable. Little things set me off. I have to pee more often, but that could solely be blamed on the water I am drinking now, compared to pre-pregnancy. And I am headachy.

I miss Tylonel 3's
I miss Advil
I miss sleeping for 8 hours without having to go pee.
I miss sanity.

I think once baby comes, I just want to be able to take Advil again. I had my concoction, pre-pregnancy, that usually worked if I took it in time for my migraines. Two tylonel-3 and an advil (for really bad ones, if it was just starting I would take 1 Tylonel 3) was the magic cure. I have only had 1 real migraine since becoming pregnant, but it definitely wore me out. Regular Tylonel did nothing for it. So, I laid in bed, just crying and praying for sleep. Ahh, I am pathetic. Can't handle a migraine, how am I going to handle labor?????

First Trimester DONE! WOOT!

14 weeks done, 26 left to go!

I made it through the first trimester!!! The evil trimester of worry (oh, what am I saying, I won't ever quit worrying) and sickness.

The wonderous passing of trimesters means that my chance of miscarriage goes down greatly.

My 12 week appointment at the Doctor's was the best so far. Before this, it was pee in a cup, get my blood pressure taken and say goodbye. The 12 week appointment is when they actually consider you pregnant (at least my Doctor's office). I got a whole bunch of magazines, a free diaper sample (ooooh, so tiny) and a Healthy Pregnancy book. I still had to pee in a cup and get my blood pressure taken, but free stuff makes me happy.

I was weighed (always a bad thing since I am fat and avoid scales) but was surprised by the number. I hadn't been weighed in over a year, so I couldn't tell how much I had gained in the first trimester, but it wasn't excessive (even though I was feeling very fat).

I was hoping to hear the heartbeat and the Doppler was sitting on the counter, but the Doctor made no move to go to it before the end of the appointment. Meanie.

There is some discrepancy over when the trimesters end. My Doctors office puts it at 12 weeks for the end of the first trimester. But when you consider a pregnancy is 40 weeks in total, that would leave extra weeks in the third trimester. So I chose to proclaim the end of my first trimester to be at 13.3333 weeks. 40 divided by 3. It seems logical to me.

Telling People

I told some friends right away. I needed the support in case things went haywire. Everyone was so supportive.

I told my Sister-in-Law and Brother pretty much right away as well, and they were excited. :-)

I told my Mom that I was pregnant online while chatting. We have not had the best relationship at times, but I was happy to share the news.

She chose to tell me every story of miscarriage that had happened in every person that she knew, whether related to us or not. Later on, she chose to tell my Sister-In-Law that I was "going to miscarry the baby anyways and not to get excited about it."

Nice. Thanks for the support, Mom.

The worries

I have had several instances of spotting in early pregnancy. Because I am a researcher by nature, and an internet junkie by choice, I choose to look up every horrible website that told me I was about to lose my child. There were lots of sites that told me I wasn't, that it was normal, but I was panicked.

About 50% of women have spotting/bleeding episodes in early pregnancy. Only 10% of those pregnancies end in miscarriage. Those are pretty good percentages. But absolutely NOTHING prepares you for that fact when you see blood in the toilet (sorry), on the paper, in the panties, anywhere. You immediately go into panic mode.

I had spotting at 6 weeks, 7 weeks, and finally again at 8 weeks when I was scheduled to have a colposcopy done by my OBGYN. Because I had cervical issues in the first place, that just panicked me even further.

As I drove to my appointment, I actually said out loud in my car, "If you are going to stick, stick. If you aren't, then let it be over now. I can't deal with this not knowing anymore."

So, as I waited on the table of stirrups that I was getting so accustomed to, trying desperately not to cry, my OBGYN came in. He is such a nice man. He shakes my hand and congratulates me on "falling pregnant". I start bawling. He asks whats wrong, and I explain about the bleeding. He almost looks like he is going to hug me. I LOVE this Doctor. He sends me for more bloodwork, and we do the colopscopy (A biopsy of the cervix). He tells me that my cervix is tightly closed and that it looks like my cervix is what is bleeding, not my uterus.

I have never been so happy while lying on a table covered with a thin cloth while someone takes tissue samples of my innards! LOL

The onset of morning sickness...

So, at the Doctors at 8 weeks 5 days and 4 hours (just kidding about the hours, I have no idea) along, and I mention my lack of morning sickness to the receptionist. Because I am a worrier, I figured not throwing up meant that I didn't have a healthy pregnancy.

Receptionist: None at all?
Me: Nope. Not a hint of nausea.
Receptionist: Well, it can still start.

Well, she was right. At 9 weeks 1 day, I experienced my very first bout of morning sickness. In between puking up my prenatal vitamin, and the grape juice I had just ingested, I actually had a sense of relief. Wooohooo, I feel pregnant! Look at me go!

My sense of excitement over getting sick didn't last long. In fact, as I spent the first day of my holidays in the bathroom on my hands and knees, my excitement slowly vanished. I was lucky that I didn't have to be at work, but sure didn't feel like going to the lake to take the boat out with my partner. I was seasick already. Boating would have to wait for another day.

Other than the morning sickness, my mood swings were a little out of control. Ahh, finally something to blame it on. I have an alien growing in my belly, I am not just crazy! That's a relief!

Finding out...

The picture isn't the greatest, but that beautiful positive sign sure is.

It's true. I am going to be a Mom. Scary thought.

It's a funny story actually. When I got my first positive test, I must have peed on every pregnancy test from here to Vancouver. Two, three times a day. I couldn't believe it. For so many years, I was told that having a baby wouldn't be possible. Although, it was always something I desired, I gave up on that dream. It wasn't meant to be. I was okay with that. So, when this all happened, it took my Doctor to confirm that I was indeed "with child" for me to believe it. Even then, I was sure it wouldn't last.

No one tells you that once you actually are pregnant, you will spend most of your time over-analyzing every single symptom you have or don't have. I think I expected morning sickness to hit by the time the positive sign came up on the test, like some magical force, "You know you are pregnant, now you must puke." And because I felt absolutely, perfectly normal, I worried that this was just some cruel joke played on my brain.